Smelly Bag

As you all know, I go to school at night. I bring this mama-jama, honking bag with me that is filled with all sorts of goodies: A magazine, a notebook filled with notes about electrolysis, waxing, block-color techniques, and the annoying people I find myself sitting next to each day. I also have chap stick, a manicuring set, strands of hair that have fallen in after being cut, trail mix, chopsticks, and a reusable plastic bottle for water, just to name a few things. I need to bring each and every item with me to school each day, because if I don’t my mom might die…Okay, so that’s not true, but if I don’t I will feel unprepared and have an unsettling feeling in my tummy that may lead to gastrointestinal upset, and then I’ll have to run next door to Carl’s Jr to use their bathroom, because I can’t use the bathroom at school, because then everyone would know that I had loose stools because I didn’t adequately prepare myself for my day. UGH!
So, the other day the top of my water bottle flipped open and soaked everything in my bag. Which included, but was not limited to: A magazine, a notebook filled with notes about electrolysis, waxing, block-color techniques, and the annoying people I find myself sitting next to each day, chap stick, a manicuring set, strands of hair that have fallen in after being cut, trail mix, and chopsticks. I didn’t notice this awful tragedy until the very next day, so it sat overnight, permeating, and macerating, and soaking everything to the point of being really, really smelly.
I bought this now stinky bag (see figure A) two and a half years ago at Target for 29.99 and it has served me well throughout my time at school: it is noticeable in a crowd, hardworking, and has lots of pockets, but now it’s time for me to say goodbye. I will be sad, BUT–Target has a new line of Gryson bags (see figure B) coming soon, and I will wait diligently until they release them. I feel as though Target has let me down with the Jovovich-Hawk line they just released, but I will not give up on Target, and I am really, really hopeful that the new bags are cute enough for me to purchase and put my chopstick in.
In the mean time I am stuck carrying my reusable grocery bag (see figure C ) which has no pockets, so everything gets jumbled up at the bottom, but is machine washable and light weight, and doesn’t smell like Zoey’s armpits (see figure D).

FIGURE A:
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FIGURE B:

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FIGURE C:

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FIGURE D:

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Jovovich-Hawk for Target

jovohawk-target1-01081.jpg Target is fantastic, I don’t need to tell you this. They have candy, laundry detergent, and recently they have designer labels. With their new GO campaign Target highlights couture designers that do a scaled down, affordable version of their fashion line. This, I think, is genius. The new designers that are coming for spring are Jovovich-Hawk. Who are amazing. Their line will be in stores March 2 and will include smock dresses, tunics, and minis, all vintage-inspired. Can’t wait.

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I Have Never…

  • seen Gone With the Wind
  • been to middle America; this includes but is not limited to Oklahoma, Kansas, Louisiana, and Montana
  • witnessed my grandma put on make-up on
  • done drugs
  • been to Ikea or Target without buying something
  • broken a bone
  • dyed my hair black
  • finished a cross word puzzle
  • gone skinny dipping
  • been able to flair my nostrils