What Stinks?

6 Comments

May 29, 2008

Oooh, ooooh! That would be me. Yup, take a nice long whiff people, because I’m super smelly. Why, you ask? Because I switched deodorant like a fool, like a damn fool!

I decided while at Whole Foods, that I would try an aluminum-free deodorant instead of my usual Secret mixed with Ban underarm concoction. I was in this weird soy-based, organic, hormone-free kind of mood, which is how I get when I go to Whole Foods. I’ll browse the isles with the mind-set that I’m one of those moms who eats balanced and healthy meals, who never gives her child processed foods, and who balks in the face of red meat, french fries, and refined sugar. Yeah, I was in one of those moods. I totally forgot that my everyday diet is filled with Funyuns and Skittles and I finish up with mozzarella sticks from Jack in the Box.

So anyway, I saw all these “all natural” and “aluminum free” deodorants, and I thought to myself, ‘what the heck’ and ‘why not?’ Again, I was in one of those moods.
200.jpgdeo_llstick_family.jpg

So I threw two in my cart, but what I failed to consider are the deep ramifications of me smelling bad: I go to hair school. I wash people’s hair and my arm pits are directly in their line of smell, next I cut their hair and my arm pits are right there again. And then there’s the blow dry, guess where my arm pits are? Yep, in their face.

I went to school last night, and after one whole hour I smelled like a teenage boy. I tried to keep my elbows tucked firmly into my sides as to insure the stink wouldn’t seep out, but I looked liked I was doing an awkward T-Rex impression.
Then I tried to joke about it, I’d say, “WHEW! Smells like someone’s getting a perm! Jeepers, that stinks!” And then my clients would laugh uncomfortably because they knew that my arm pits were the ones with the funky perm.

I guess that concludes my aluminum-free deodorant experience. Perhaps if I didn’t sweat like a 400 pound man I would be able to just rub a pretty crystal all over my arm pits and be done with it.product_information.gif

Please enjoy this photograph. It’s basically what my husband and I look like every morning when I help him apply his deodorant as he flexes his arm.

6 Comments:

funky perm arm pits… my favorite description ever.

by Kristin on May 29, 2008

you are hilarious.

by kru clan on May 31, 2008

Is Pat stinky too?

by Amanda on May 31, 2008

Heck no! Pat smells like a field of daffodils.

by beckey on June 2, 2008

Becky you are hilarious. No fake.

I switched to aluminum free too, and only wear real deodorant for special occasions like road trips, and date night.

We freakish hyper sweaters have to stick together yo.

by Jen on June 7, 2008

Ohhh, I am all to familiar with this experiment. I tried, lord I tried to be aluminum-free and “natural,” but this body is simply not cut out for it. The only thing that marginally worked was taking chlorophyll pills in combination with using natural deodorant. Still, I could smell me. Now I’ve gone way over to the other side and use my prescription strength, nuclear aluminum-packed product. The world is a much better place for it.

by dgm on June 9, 2008

Leave a comment


Something Smells…

4 Comments

April 30, 2008

Smells I love:

lavender
pencils
my baby’s head
brand new stuff– especially shoes and furniture
sautéed onions
Christmas
Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil
hot buttered rum candle from Anthropologie
freshly ground coffee
my bed

Smells I hate:
latex
tar
maple syrup
Jenielle‘s ice maker
vinegar
hospitals
gruyere cheese
Zoey’s anal sac expulsions
darkroom photo chemicals
peoples’ bad breath
incense

What about you guys? Do you have interesting smells you love/hate?

4 Comments:

Oooh! I love ginger and garlic sauteeing in olive oil, Chanel’s “Cristalle,” and old books. And the smells of the beach, especially fire pits.

Cannot cannot cannot stand the smell of tar. And also, I used to work with a woman who had reeeeeally bad breath. She used to come into my office to tell me secrets so she’d close my door and it was un-bear-a-ble, especially when I was pregnant and overly sensitive to smell.

by dgm on April 30, 2008

I love the smell of cinnamon but I hate the taste. Unfortunately I cannot stand the smell of all perfumes.

by jenielle on April 30, 2008

Ribs, I love the smell of ribs cooking. Actually, any pork I guess because there is nothing like the smell of bacon in the morning.

by Grandma J on April 30, 2008

gardenias at the front door, the smell of clean clothes, fresh sheets, cut crass, & the Ocean!!! My Husbands pillow & his skin after he comes home from a surf. Fresh squeezed oranges, lemons & basil. Okay Okay, I will stop right there. ahhhhh

by Dianne on April 30, 2008

Leave a comment