99 Reasons Why Not

I thought the 99 Cent Store would be like getting a warm hug from a giant piece of cotton candy. I thought the isles would be a treasure chest open wide with all the valuable loot glinting inside. I thought maybe, just maybe all my wildest dreams would magically come true once I stepped foot onto their shiny, lime green, linoleum floor—I thought wrong, so very, very wrong.

We drove by the overly-lit, and brilliantly colored store on our way home from dinner last night, and a strong force within myself called out, “TURN NOW! We must buy things for 99 cents!”

As we trotted along we saw brand names we never heard of, marshmallow hot dogs, and My Little Pony stationary sets.
I was instantly fascinated with all that the shelves held, and so was Berlyn:

Berlyn es siempre hacia abajo para comprar las cosas que cuestan 99 centavos

(Berlyn is always down to buy stuff that cost 99 cents)

Macaroni & Beef and Dee Dee bamboo shoots, sliced. What more could you want for dinner?

Pieces of smoked mussels? Yes please.

I don’t think we’ll be going back to the 99 Cent Store any time soon. Not that I don’t love a bargain, but it’s just conversations like these don’t happen while you’re shopping at Bloomingdale’s:

Little girl: She’s cute (pointing to Berlyn’s eyeball).

Pat: Thanks (pushing through stacks of Nilli Vanilli cassette tapes)

Little girl: He’s not my brother (gesturing to the husky little boy sitting in the cart next to her) his parents had to go to an adult-only meeting.

Pat: Oh. Okay.

Little girl: We’re watching him until his parents come home. (she does pirouettes and stumbles into a hair-remover display) I don’t really like him much.

Pat: Bummer.

I like to let Pat handle these types of conversations, mainly because I don’t really like to talk to children, (does that make me a bad mom?) especially ones who affiliate with ones that have parents that go to adult-only meetings.

Valentine Displays

Here are some Valentine’s Day window displays I found at the mall last week. I liked them because they didn’t rely on a cardboard cut out of a gigantic bee wearing red silk underpants to say “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

Don’t get me wrong, I love over-sized animals wishing me a happy holiday as much as the next person, but I just like these Louis Vuitton hanging chain-things better…

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Grocery Store Guilt

berlyn_cart.jpgI went to the grocery store today. It has become a tiny mental struggle in my head when I head down those colorful isles while pushing a shopping cart full of Berlyn. A struggle because I used to cook dinner every night. That’s right- turn on the stove, use all the pots in my cupboard, fresh produce-cooking, every night. Now, I don’t do that. Not even a little bit. Now I buy frozen dinners, pre-made salads, and anything that claims “EZ” on the packaging. It’s because I go to school at night, and Pat, well, he doesn’t cook-or maybe just doesn’t WANT to cook.
When I finally make my way up to the check out, I can’t help but feel like the clerk is judging me. Scanning my CPK frozen pizza and giving me the stink eye. I know what you’re thinking miss blue vest woman; just bag my macaroni and cheese so I can go home and cut up organic, meat-less, hot dogs in it for Berlyn. I don’t need your icky looks ruining my day. I know it’s all in my head, and the blue vest woman could be scanning 104 cans of Dinty Moore Beef Stew and give me the same exact look. But for some reason, I feel the weight of judgment. Ohh, so heavy. I feel like I should be cooking all day on Sunday, and then freezing my meals for the rest of the week, like my mom suggested. Well, sorry mom, I can tell you for certain that THAT”S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

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Grocery Store Photos

I feel like I have a pretty good knowledge of the grocery store, but when I went today, I found some tiny discoveries. So exciting.

I found out what I kumquat was. It’s like a tiny-miniature orange. I always pictured something of a pear or a pomegranate. Don’t know why-but now I’m glad because I have the correct fruit-correlation in my mind.

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Spam singles! (Side note: I’ve never eaten Spam–I just need you all to know that) I thought that the can of Spam was in a singles portion already. But apparently not. So all you Spam lovers out there, grab your coin purse, and pick up some Spam Singles TODAY!

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Jovovich-Hawk for Target

jovohawk-target1-01081.jpg Target is fantastic, I don’t need to tell you this. They have candy, laundry detergent, and recently they have designer labels. With their new GO campaign Target highlights couture designers that do a scaled down, affordable version of their fashion line. This, I think, is genius. The new designers that are coming for spring are Jovovich-Hawk. Who are amazing. Their line will be in stores March 2 and will include smock dresses, tunics, and minis, all vintage-inspired. Can’t wait.

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IKEA Food

If you’ve been to IKEA then you’ve probably seen their assortment of Swedish food they keep near the cash registers (which I always thought was weird, that they store it in front of the cash registers, so you see it after you’ve already purchased your Billy bookcase. So if you happen across a craving for some Lingonsylt after you have checked out, you have to get back in line–this is dumb). But what is not dumb is their amazing packaging of food products:

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Coffee in a box

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Here’s some creamed smoked roe with a little boy smiling as if to say, “I love roe from a tube, don’t you?” To which we reply, “ugh, I…uh, well, um…”

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Food from a tube is so convient

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Is that Christie Brinkley?

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We rarely leave Ikea without buying Marabou. It’s my favorite.

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A Swedish Food bag in which to place all of your Swedish food selections.

Buying the Little Sizes is Cheaper

Chloe just launched a girls’ clothing line and Neiman Marcus carries it. It is so adorable, and not for Berlyn—for ME! I’m pretty sure that with a little bit of squeezing and a good pair of Spanx I could get myself into a 12-14. They also have Little Marc (Marc Jacobs), Phillip Lim 3.1, Burberry, and Juicy Couture.

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Little Marc Wool Coat

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Juicy Couture Shift Dress

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Chloe Shift Dress

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Phillip Lim Trench Dress