I May Rise, but I’m Certainly not Going to Shine

5 Comments

July 10, 2008

My mornings have been pilfered, ransacked, and left for dead. They have been taken from me like so many other things, one of which: my ability to properly digest dairy.

Let me explain, Berlyn is a happy sleeper. She likes to sleep so much so, that she usually takes two naps during the day. One is in the morning which allows me to do things like shower, pick my zits, drink coffee, watch So You Think You Can Dance, and most importantly update my blog. And the second nap is usually around 3:30 which works well because that gives me time to do yoga, apply my third coat of deodorant, pick my zits, and get ready for school. I’ve really grown quite accustomed to my leisurely day, and I have no plans of changing it. Unfortunately Berlyn does, and she has decided to forgo her morning nap.

Apparently this is what is called “growing-up” and I should get used to it because, pretty soon she’ll do a good poopie in the potty, take zero naps during the day, start dating boys, and steal my fancy La Perla push-up bra. I don’t like this discovery one bit. No siree. But because I am a chameleon and I dance in the face of adaptation, I will conform to her decision to not nap during the morning-I may not like it, but I will try to adjust.

Please be patient with me. I’m trying to figure out this new morning schedule, and I may not blog as often, I may show up to a lunch date un-showered, I might forget otherwise simple tasks like putting on two “matching” shoes, and my eyes will probably be a little more blood-shot and puffy than usual–please don’t stare or photograph me.

Thank you.

5 Comments:

I can’t handle Berlyn growing up, and I don’t care if that sounds creepy. I was going through some pictures the other day and found one of Jason and me holding her at your dad’s house (Father’s Day ’07?) when she barely had any hair! I’m afraid to come back to California and discover that she now recites poetry, has her own iPhone, and will soon be applying for her driver’s license. Make it stoppp.

by amanda on July 10, 2008

Beckey, you hold the power of the nap…dont give it up yet.

My kids still nap…., my 5 year old would still take 2 if our schedule permitted.

My husband says they dont nap for him…but I have a routine. You just have them lay down, and dont allow any talking…trust me, within 5 minutes, they are asleep. We do this in the family room, so I can monitor talking (and therefore sleeping.)

My littlest can just go in her room and nap, on those occasions that she doesnt want to nap (and cries at her door – she is in a twin bed now)…I just let her cry, and presto, within 10 minutes…asleep….and besides, the crying indicates, hello, she is tired and needs a nap.

Im a firm believer that everyone needs to nap, even mommies…so, dont give up yet girlfriend.

by heart shaped hedges on July 10, 2008

I make my kids have relaxation time for around two hours in the afternoon. I don’t care what they do in their rooms as long as they don’t talk to me otherwise, they wouldn’t live past snack time.

by gorillabuns on July 11, 2008

But what about your zits? Will you neglect them? Inquiring minds want to know.

😉

by Crash Test Mommy on July 13, 2008

My five year old STILL conks out for two hours in the afternoon, and he’ll handily fall asleep at night. I love this because it means I get to take a nap with him (unless my husband strong arms me for the position of story-reader and co-napper).

Just establish that even though Berlyn isn’t napping in the morning, it is a time for quiet play. She will learn to amuse herself while you are at the mirror picking your zits. She may even offer to help.

Good luck with that.

by dgm on July 14, 2008

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Walking is soo Over Rated

8 Comments

May 2, 2008

How do you not compare? How do you look at other babies and not compare and judge? I could give my left dimpled butt-cheek that your baby sticks his pointer finger high in the air when asked how old he is. Or that your daughter can say 18 words (most of which aren’t words at all, but mere sounds like, Ah, daa, goo. And no, nothing about those words remotely resembled ball, dad, or Guggenheim). But yet, in the back of my mind, while I’m nodding politely at your baby who is using sign language to tell you that he wants his bottle (he’s still using a bottle??), I am judging you. It’s a peaceful and unmotivated judgment, but I am judging you none the less.

But in all fairness and honesty, I think you’re judging me too. You see, I read a statistic in What to Expect, the Toddler Years, that said 90% of all 15 month olds are walking. Which means that my baby is in the 10% group of babies that is not. I don’t know why she isn’t walking yet, and I’ve given her plenty of opportunities. But for some reason her inability to walk is giving me a complex. I feel like I have failed her as a mother, and that she’s missing out on fun activities. I am insecure when we go to play groups and people ask me how old my daughter is, and when I answer, I feel their eyes smugly judging as they watch her crawl around. I know I am crazy for worrying about this, and I’ve been told a handful of times that it’s a blessing by exasperated mothers that are chasing their overactive walkers, but they’re just being nice albeit, a little condescending.

I can’t force her to walk, and from the looks of it, she’s really not all that into it. She pushes things around, and holds my hand, but as soon as I let go she collapses to the floor, and it takes everything in me not to get frustrated. My mom tells me that I didn’t walk until 15 months, and now I’m a fabulous walker. I know nothing is ‘wrong’ with her, but in our twisted society, babies that pick up new things quickly are praised as geniuses and child prodigies, and is it so much to ask that my baby be the best baby in the whole wide world?

8 Comments:

perhaps it’s my fault, i’ve been spending much more time teaching her how to flick-navigate photos on the iphone than walk. i bet the other 15-month-olds in her play group can’t do that.

by pat on May 2, 2008

It is just the way it is…I swear it gets a bit easier- but not much. She is perfect and you know that, but it is hard. The whole judgement issue is swirling around us from the moment they come out…A judgement/guilt tornado. Just relax and know that on the day she decides to walk you can look back on this brilliant archive you have created for her and smile…

by amy on May 2, 2008

I just picked up Dooce’s book if you want to have a read when I’m done!

by Amanda on May 2, 2008

My son and youngest daughter walked at 11 months. More importantly, by 7-8 months, they could get anywhere in the house by holding on to things and cruising around.

My middle daughter, she didnt walk until 16 months…and NEVER cruised around or held onto things. If you set her down somewhere, she would stay there until you moved her, she just had no desire to explore.

She is now 5, and not only can she walk, but she has a dance recital tomorrow, and she does a great job…she is ahead of many of her peers in the physical coordination department.

I wondered if she was a dim bulb, if you know what I mean, since she didnt have the urge for curious exploration as a toddler. Quite the contrary, she is very bright, again, ahead of her peers in that area.

I will say, that she is more cuddly and content than my other two….outgoing, but not bouncing off the walls with energy, thank God.

Im sure Berlyn will not only walk soon, but one day you will see this as a part of her personality, a good part.

by heart shaped hedges on May 3, 2008

Berlyn is brilliant. She doesn’t need to walk to prove it! And yes, walking is over rated.

by Dena on May 4, 2008

You said it all in the title!

by Dianne on May 4, 2008

OK so she can’t walk yet no big deal….Cali is 18 months now and all she says is mom and dad. She has been doig this for about a year now and then she just stopped saying new stuff. Well, she does say Ga and Ca and Da and uummmmmmm. Some things come faster for some kids and the stuff that takes more time will hopefully kick in soon.

by Casey on May 5, 2008

Just wait ’til she soars and looks down on them all.

Seriously, they’re all individuals, I tells ya, and they’re gonna do their things when they are nice and ready. I have long believed that babies and toddlers focus either on physical or verbal skillz, but not both at the same time. So you can get this phenomenally physical kid, but he begins speaking later than “normal.”

And finally, sometimes it’s not about a baby’s inability to do something, but her desire not to try yet. My friend’s son, who is the same age as my son, didn’t walk alone until 16 months, but it was more about not wanting to let go of mommy’s finger than a “problem” with his legs. Just think, there’ll come a day Berlyn will be too embarassed to hold your hand.

by dgm on May 5, 2008

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Enie Meeny Miney Mo

8 Comments

April 14, 2008

How do families decide how many kids to bring into this world? You know what would be easier then deciding? If one day you opened your mailbox and found an especially official letter among the stacks of mattress ads. It would be the type of letter that you opened even before you got back into your home, because you were so intrigued with it. And inside it had a number. That’s all, just a printed number. 3. “Oh, honey we got our child quota today, I guess we can start trying.” BOOM, done, easy.

You know what is not easy? Trying to figure out if one is enough. I spent all weekend envisioning myself, our lives, and our family as just the three of us. And then I tried to envision adding more babies, and it made me a little swirly in the head. The hard part is, is that when I look ahead at my life in 10 years, I think of having 2 or 3 kids, but when I really see our lives now, and how it’s playing out right in front of me, I think, us and Berlyn is perfection. But there are so many pros and cons to this, almost to the point where I am split right down the middle. Thankfully I don’t have to worry about this too much, because I still have plenty of time to have more babies if we decided that is what we want. But wait– I don’t have that much time, because my eggs get older with each passing day. OH GOD, I don’t want to make a baby with old eggs! I wouldn’t even bake a cake with old eggs! I don’t have much time at all. When my mom was my age, she had two babies, ages 3 and 4 and was working on divorcing my father (the divorcing part is irrelevant to my point, but I just wanted to give you a little more background into my life). Crap. Maybe I should just get pregnant today, and say the hell with it.

8 Comments:

such a hard question…I feel yr pain. Hey- you make cute babies – I vote go for it.
I liked this post a lot. I sk-rt’d this post. “)

by amy on April 14, 2008

please have more babies!!! 🙂 (maybe not now-but someday!)

by Jamye on April 14, 2008

Why not throw caution to the wind and let God decide? Check out Jenny’s site, she just had her 12th! child.
http://beautifulheritage.wordpress.com/

by Jennifer on April 14, 2008

I think siblings are a blessing in regards to lifetime companionship, and a a very important balancing factor for a growing child. Also, it’s nice to insure the “grandchild investment” in case your one-and-only decides not to have kids at all!

by Raeann on April 14, 2008

It’s hard to decide… it feels like such a disruption to the life of your child and I think there is always the worry that you won’t love the new child as much… it’s hard to imagine having that intense, all consuming love for another little person! But, you know, my kids are such good friends and their common experience as growing up our children makes for a support system to take them into their adulthood… seeing them together and them having each other to play and hang out with… it’s a great joy.

by Kristin on April 15, 2008

WARNING! LONG, RAMBLING, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! I rarely ever comment…..ok. here’s my 2 cents worth of …whatever. For me, once I decided to jump into the parenthood pool, I knew I would have more than one – and not too far apart age-wise – based on my experience as a sibling. I’m the much youngest sister (10-16 yr. gap) in a group of 5 sibs. so I kind of grew up like an only child, except on holidays and the occasional family event/vacation. I was always envious of their shared stories and comradeship, and they always thought I was spoiled. grass is always greener…..I guess. Anyway! It was the process of my mom’s death (lung cancer) that brought us all together I think. As terrible as that ordeal was (my dad had died several years previous), I couldn’t imagine going through something like it alone. We all pitched in, rotating shifts, talked, laughed & cried a lot. We grew up and are happy and functional and get along great now. We’re spread about the country, but talk & text and get together often. So that decided it for me. I know that as a parent I will only be around for so long…. and I wanted to give my children someone that would be there for them as they grew old. Not that there are any guarantees….the way they’re fighting lately, about petty crap…good luck! But then one will stun me with an incredible selfless gesture to the other, and I am hopeful! There are days when I wish I had stuck with one…..it would be SO easy. Think of all the time and attention I would have to focus on all of the details……Alas, I do love my three little nuts! What I wouldn’t give for a few minutes of peace and quite……but I’ll get that later! so, as for advice….I say listen to yourself….trust yourself….you know what’s right/best for you and your family. have fun. (gosh, I hope this wasn’t too…weird, personal, dark, uninvited!)

by lisa dawson on April 16, 2008

I’ve heard it said that you might regret having only one but you’ll never regret having the second (or third, or ….)

by Karen on April 21, 2008

I had two because I am an older single mom and all the cousins of my kids are much older. I wanted them to have family. It’s been wonderful. There is nothing better than watching my daughter make faces to get her younger brother to laugh. When they laugh and giggle together, it lightens your heart and lengthens your lifespan. Just my opinion but if you’re enjoying one, you’ll probably have a blast with two.

by g8grl on April 21, 2008

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Laundry Day

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April 3, 2008

When I have to start wearing my husband’s underwear, I know that I needs to be doing some laundry. So, I hoisted the laundry basket up, felt my back crack, and I brought it downstairs, but not before I stumbled backwards, and almost fell down all my stairs–that sucker was heavy. I plunked it down on the floor and then sat down and drank some coffee–I so deserved a break after getting one step closer to actually putting the clothes into the washing machine.
While I was commending myself on my super-human strength, I noticed Berlyn pulling all of the clothes out of the laundry basket. I thought, Oh, how sweet is she? She’s helping mama sort the laundry.

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She’s checking the labels, and making sure that my top is machine washable–I taught her ‘Marc Jacobs always gets hung dry.’

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Yes, those are my underwear around her neck, and no I did not put them there (you have to look close, because my underwear and her shirt are the same color).
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Now it’s time to put dad’s socks on.
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All clean. I think my shoe, her sippy, and Zoey all made it back into the basket–she’s very thorough.

2 Comments:

freaking adorable!

by amy on April 3, 2008

i love how berlyn is making undergarments into accessories – undies as necklaces and bras as braclets! too cute!!

by allie on April 3, 2008

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Creamer is For Your Coffee, Not Your Baby

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March 25, 2008

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So, what you’re saying is…I shouldn‘t have used my coffee creamer as baby formula? Even though the nipple attaches so nicely to the easy to pour spout?

1 Comment:

What exactly are we supposed to feed our babies then?

To think that the only reason they put that warning on this product is because someone actually tried to feed it to their infant. Those are the people that should not be allowed to populate.

by Dena on March 25, 2008

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I Should Make a Muffin Basket for my Baby’s Doctor

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March 24, 2008

As Berlyn gets older, her pediatrician appointments become more spread out. They started out every month, and then all of a sudden my baby’s doctor decided that I knew what I was doing, and we didn’t need to see her as much. This is disconcerting.
My Pediatrician: (while looking at her charts) Looks like I won’t need to see Berlyn for 4 more months.

Me: Wait, are you sure? 4 months sounds like a long time. Do you actually trust me to go 4 months without seeing you? I’m new at this. What if she chokes on an raspberry, or poops orange, or what if she gets a hangnail, and it gets infected?

My Pediatrician: She’ll be fine, if anything happens, just call us.

Me: Okay, but say I just wanted to stop in and say hi, and since I was already there, maybe you would be able to weigh Berlyn, and check her temperature, and watch the new skill she just learned, just for old time’s sake?

It’s not so much the fear that I am doing something wrong, but I enjoy a simple acknowledgment followed by a hearty pat on the shoulder every now and again-especially if it is coming from a licensed medical doctor who used to be Chief Resident at CHOC…

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Oh Shit!

2 Comments

March 20, 2008

I put Berlyn down for a nap fully clothed and a tad ornery. She was sleepy, but I heard her rolling around in her crib for a good twenty minutes before she nodded off. I didn’t check on her, because she was almost through reading “Animals to Count.” It was a nail biter for her, so you can understand me not wanting to disturb her precious down-time. She finally finished babbling and took a nap for about an hour and a half.

When I returned to her room after her nap, I found her sans clothing. She had taken off her t-shirt and pants, and only had on her diaper–which she had successfully soiled. As I neared her crib I noticed that she was lightly covered in FECES! It was on her belly, all mashed in and swirled about, and there was a poo-crusty on her finger and shockingly, ON HER FACE. I can’t say with certainty that she ate any poop, but my mind wandered to a dark, poo-eating place. I immediately panicked and yelled for my husband. The way I was shrieking you’d swear she coughed up a baby gorilla. Pat came in a tried to calm me down, but I couldn’t; my sweet, adorable baby was covered in HER OWN POO! I worked quickly to wipe her down and sanitize her entire body, and as I did, she giggled and clapped in delight:

“Oh, mom, I had so much fun after you shut the door to my room. I took off all my clothes and threw them out of the crib, then I reached into my squishy diaper and found all this fun goo to play with. It was the best.”

I striped the bed and boiled the sheets–ewww and double yuck. I didn’t know what to do about the alleged poo-eating, so I reached for the phone to call the nurse at her pediatrician’s office. I left a long descriptive message about how ordinarily Berlyn is a charming young lady who minds her manners and enjoys hot tea and crumpets at high-noon. I didn’t know what I was expecting them to tell me, but I felt better about letting them know what was going on in my home.

The nurses never called me back. They probably thought I was insane for calling, and most parents should just laugh about it and move on with their day. So, now I have this vision that the nurses are all playing back my message to their nurse/doctor friends for a good chuckle.

Thanks Berlyn, now we’re the laughing stock of the office.

2 Comments:

OMG – I’ve heard this is pretty common with little ones. I don’t want to say anything smug because the karma bus might run over me. Don’t forget to write about it in her baby book. 🙂

by Marketing Mama on March 20, 2008

Oh dear. Did the doctor ever get back to you? I bet that IF she ate it, it was just a taste. I’m sure it didn’t taste very good and kept using it as play dough instead.

by Dena on March 23, 2008

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I Need To Baby-Proof my Baby Gate

5 Comments

March 17, 2008

Berlyn has figured out how to get through the baby gate in our living room: she simply pulls it down.

It’s velcroed at the door of the gate, but everywhere else it is stitched in place, thus begging the question, why not stitch the fabric at the door so my daughter can actually be contained within the gate?

Apparently they didn’t expect kids to outsmart the gate, but as we all know…

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Berlyn is a child prodigy.

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Freedom.

5 Comments:

love the photo progression. nice work Berlyn

by pat on March 17, 2008

I’m basically in tears right now…that is classic.

by Eric on March 17, 2008

time to put up the cinder-block wall.

by Kristin on March 17, 2008

I love the first picture with her face smushed up against the gate. Too cute!

by Dena on March 17, 2008

Berlyn is so cute I want to squeeze her… and ask her advice on how to escape from work today.

by melinda on March 19, 2008

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I Think My Mom is Wound a Little Too Tight

2 Comments

February 29, 2008

A conversation with my mother about Berlyn:

Mom: Beck! That milk is cold, you’re not going to heat it up for her? Oh! She’s drinking it so fast, Beck! It’s cold outside, heat her milk up. She’s going to get cold!! Beck…

Me: Mom, she’s fine.

My Mom: I don’t know…She’s drinking it so fast, is she going to get gas from drinking it that fast?? Oh! Beck! Her lips are turning blue! Rebecca! Get her a jacket her lips are BLUE!!

Me: Mom, she’s fine.

My Mom: Beck! Look, she has red marks all around her mouth. Do you think she’s having an allergic reaction? Beck, Look!

Me: ((deep breath)) Seriously Mom?? She was touching her face while signing for more food. Please calm down, or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

I don’ t think my mother realizes that I have successfully taken care of Berlyn for the last 13 months, and she hasn’t died, or had hypothermia, or contracted the flesh-eating virus. Her head hasn’t mysteriously fallen off, and she looks like she is breathing most of the time. So, yeah, I’d say I’m doing alright.

2 Comments:

Amazing.

by Natalie Johnson on March 3, 2008

Sounds like my MIL…

by magpie on March 3, 2008

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Somewhere Between Pause and Fast-Forward

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February 20, 2008

I feel very conflicted as I’m battling two types of feelings. The first is, I am at school–and as much as I love slapping color on hair, I just want to be finished. I keep looking ahead for a time of no school. When I think of being done with school, I envision my horizon filled with unicorns wearing point shoes demi-pleaing in the distance, and hippos with tu-tus awaiting my arrival to the future. But before I can dance with hippos and unicorns, I see the next 7 months of my life as this black smudge on the calendar, and as soon as I am done, the smudge will be wiped clean, and I will finally be able to live my life, i.e., dance with hippos and unicorns.

On the other hand, I still spend 8 hours of Berlyn’s day with her, and I want to cherish every moment that we get to spend together. She will never be this age again, and I want to remember her sweet baby language, her trials of standing alone, and her attempts of getting into her Duplo box.

Part of me wants to press pause, while the other part wants to fast-forward.

I think this struggle serves a purpose; we are always going to have segments of our life that are arduous and we want to speed through, but then hopefully, we have more of the parts that are wonderfully fulfilling that we never want to end. These remind us to be grateful and cherish all the good in our lives.

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