Sunflower Seeds are Little Drops of Sunshine

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May 27, 2008

I get on these strange food kicks, where I only want one type of food all the time. It happened with baked potatoes, Greek salad, chicken sausage pita sandwiches, soup, Golden Spoon frozen yogurt, Ruffles potato chips dipped in cottage cheese, and so on. Today it’s sunflower seeds. I feel like I’m supposed to be on a tractor when I eat these, either that or watching a drag race. There’s all this cracking and spitting, and it’s not very lady like. But I keep coming back for more salty goodness. I eat them until my lips get wrinkly and my fingers get little salty blisters, that’s when I know I’m all done.

This morning I opened a fresh bag of sunflower seeds and started cracking. Oh the joy! Sunflower seeds in the morning! My husband looked at me like I was loosing my mind a little bit because I was so gleeful while I cracked and spit. I should have been eating a bowl of nutritious cereal and a halved grapefruit with mild sprinkling of flax seed–but no, I opted for sunflower seeds instead.
This seed obsession started way back when I was just a little girl. I watched my dad crack sunflower seeds while nestled comfortably in his famed barcalounger watching some 2-star movie on HBO. I would grab a mug from the kitchen and sit with him, and together we’d crack sunflower seeds while watching Weekend at Bernie’s 2.
I also remember taking a generous handful of sunflower seeds and retreating to my room as a little girl to make the most amazing drawings you’ll never see on my chalk board. I placed the seeds in a heap next to my chalk and began cracking as I drew elephants roller skating. I accidently took a piece of chalk in my hand and threw it into my mouth as if it were a seed. I munched it hard and was disheartened when I realized instead of a salty little seed, I got a mouthful of dust.

So this morning I poured myself a cup of coffee and had another cup to spit my empty seed carcasses into. I was extra careful not to mix the cups up, as I was known to do: the one on the right is for drinking, the one on the left is for throwing your regurgitated shells into–easy, no?. But sure enough, I went to take a sip from my coffee mug, and found little seed shells floating on the top–I just fished them out and took a nice long sip…yum.

4 Comments:

I hope you’re not wasting your time with those imitation seeds…you know, the one’s that come in the green packaging for 99 cents at your local drug store. If you’re going to partake of this storied snack food, you might as well do it properly…
1) Start with a cheek-full of David sunflower seeds (right or left cheek depending on your preference…you have freedom here).
2) Transfer one seed over to the empty side of your mouth.
3) Use your tongue to rest the shell on its side in between your back teeth and crack it open.
4) Use your tongue to remove the seed and store it temporarily on the side of your mouth.
5) Use your tongue to flip one half of the empty shell over and place it up against the other half (kind of like they are spooning).
6a) Spit the shells out into your Styrofoam cup.
OR Preferably
6b) Spit the shells with great force as far as you can. You can also get creative here and launch them at the head of an unsuspecting bystander, or possibly into a trash can you’ve placed a few feet away. You’ve got a great imagination so I’m sure you’ll have no difficulty coming up with countless interesting targets.
7) Enjoy the freshly birthed seed.

Go back and repeat steps 2 through 7 until your mouth is empty. That is a good time to take a big gulp of water before you refill your cheek with another heaping fistfull of seeds.

Beckey, this is a talent that takes much patience and practice to master. However, to quote to the great poet Rilke, “Nothing worthwhile is easy”. I truely believe that you will be a better person if you’re willing to invest the time and effort that is required to be a skillful sunflower seed eater/spitter person who eats seeds and spits them well (that last sentence should be read with a Ben Stiller inflection…a la Zoolander…so go back and read it again).

– Eric

P.S. I would be happy to critique your technique and offer further insight/tips upon request.

by Eric on May 27, 2008

LOL, that’s funny. I go on food jags, too. Although most of them don’t require spitting. I gagged a little bit at that last line. Just thought you’d like to know. 😉

by Marketing Mama on May 27, 2008

I am now totally craving Golden Spoon… my kids are going to be so pleased when we head there directly after school!

Also, Eric… impressive tips!

by Kristin on May 28, 2008

then there is the flip side to the salty sunflower seed experience……ever tried the candy coated version…. kinda like peanut m&m’s, but with sunflower seeds instead? you can feel better about yourself while you get your sugar-high on. We’re big on sunflower seeds around here – any and all variations.

by lisa dawson on May 30, 2008

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Favorite Foods

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March 5, 2008

I was looking back at my old posts, and realized that I write about food often. This is probably due to the fact that I like food. Most of my favorite types of food have sugar in them. Sugar is my favorite. I adore sweet things, but strangely, I don’t like it if things are too sweet. I am picky that way.
Here are some of my favorite things to eat:

Frosted Doughnettes by Hostess. I like them refrigerated and soaked in milk. Oddly enough I don’t like bakery doughnets (uck).

things wrapped in bacon

cheese: feta, brie, goat, camembert, gruyere, cheddar, monterey jack, mozzarella

homemade chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven with walnuts, and if they’re not fresh out of the oven, I like to microwave them until they get all gooey and sizzle a little bit… but not too much sizzling, because then you’ll scorch them-and no one wants a scorched cookie. I find that half a minute usually does the trick for three cookies.

Bread. I love the bread restaurants give you while you wait for food. This is good for several reasons. 1) you get hungry 2) Bread tastes nice 3) boredom.

I like multigrain rolls and sourdough the best.

I like chocolate, and no Russel Stover from crap from CVS, I like the classy stuff. There is a little shop in Paris called Laduree that has amazing chocolate (I went to like 5 different chocolate shops, and diligently whittled my preference down to this one amazing shop).

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And there is a chocolate shop in the Wynn Hotel in Vegas that was pretty good. And there is a place in Fashion Island that’s called Teuscher. They have a champaign truffle that made Oprah do inappropriate things on her show while she ate it.

I really like hot chocolate–especially the real hot chocolate, which is melted chocolate poured over a tiny bit of hot milk.

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And I love myself some cupcakes, or any types of cake for that matter. But I’m not too big a fan of frosting. I find it’s too sweet. I don’t scrape it off or anything crazy like that, but if there is too much, I generally leave it on the plate, and after 5 minutes I mush it around with the cake crumbs and zone out while I make interesting shapes–kinda like a zen garden, but for someone with a brain of a 6 year-old.

I like salads and healthy food too–I swear.

1 Comment:

Oh my gosh-that place in Fashion Island is very good. They are one of my clients and they gave me free samples!

by Jamye on March 5, 2008

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Sno Balls

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March 2, 2008

I love the Hostess snack cakes, Sno Balls. They are these adorable little, fuzzy, balls that almost look like stuffed animals. And for my birthday (which is 8 months away) I want a Sno Ball cake. Please. Thank you.

snowball

1 Comment:

Ever since I have known you, you have ALWAYS loved Sno Balls. This cake was completely made for you! This is just one of the many reasons why I love you so much!

by Dena on March 4, 2008

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