13%

There’s this website that takes the photos of the mother, father, and baby, and then tells you who your baby more closely resembles.

Before I reveal the outcome of the results, I must tell you that I am naturally a very competitive person. I enjoy feeling triumphant and victorious, and the thought that I am more superior in all ways occasionally finds its way into my mind. Needless to say, there was a lot riding on the results.

So, I submitted this picture of Pat and me:

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and this picture of Berlyn:

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The website did this neat-o scanning thing, and I felt like I was uploading Top Secret documents for the FBI.

The results were: (Drum roll please.) Berlyn looks 13% more like HER FATHER!!

So, if you want to make my day, casually let me know that Berlyn has my tenacity, passion, or amazing fashion sense.

Vacation

I need a vacation. I came to this realization at the precise moment that I was going number two in the downstairs bathroom. I drank an extra large cup of coffee this morning, which means I had the urge for a BM extra-immediately. I waddled into the bathroom and cracked the door–this was my mistake, I should have closed the door entirely. Mere seconds later, both my toddler and my pug came traipsing into the half-bath to begin their shenanigans. Berlyn was opening the cupboards and unrolling all the toilet paper, while Zoey was trying to eat my underwear and lick my shins–all while mama was trying to have some ‘quiet-time’. AHHRRHGG!!!

I wish I was here instead of getting my shins licked by an incredibly needy dog:learn-french-in-tahiti-2.jpg

or here would be nice too:

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…or here:

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But instead of whisking myself off to some foreign country, I have a feeling I’ll just have to plug my headphones into my iPod and just pretend, because I’ll most likely end up here:

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Sticky Family

We have evolved. The evolution I am referencing involves the varied car adornment to describe people’s family situation.
Remember the 80s–where people in boxy Volvos would stick that yellow diamond placard in their window cautioning others around them to drive more carefully because they have a “Baby on Board”?

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Well, now people in rounded Volvos strategically place little replicas of themselves in the lower corner of their back window to emblematize their family. What says love more poignantly, than your family tree personified in skulls and crossbones? I don’t know, what do you guys think? Is this cute or incredibly lame?

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You know that this is only happening in Orange County. And if you see a car with these stickers outside of Orange County, it’s because they are out of town.