The sucky thing about this graduation is that I still have a month left of school. Let me explain: In cosmetology school the goal is to complete 1600 hours. Say, you’re late one day, or are out sick for 8 days, or party hard one night and can’t find your hair extensions and realize they are in the toilet with your mascara wand and your best friend’s boyfriend’s Axe Deodorant Spray, then you probably need to recover and lay on the couch all day and watch the Maury Povich show. Which means every hour you miss, is an extra hour tacked on to the end of your time. So, everyone is at a different level; the girl next to me can have 450 hours, and the girl next to her can have 890 hours, and the girl next to her can have 12 hours. Instead of graduating people one at a time (which would be awkward and kinda sad), they only have 4 graduations a year. So all that to say, I’m graduating tomorrow!! Yea me!
But I’m not done with school until October 7th. Boo! It’s going to feel strange to graduate on Friday and then come back to school on Monday. But I think I can handle it.

My friend Rhea found this photo on Nordstrom’s website, and it looks just like me, except for the geogous hair, the high cheekbones, and that curly haired baby.

Thanks Rhea, for boosting my self-esteem.

I was busy enjoying my Labor Day by indulging in homemade margaritas and dry-iced sangria with hipsters,

that I postponed writing about it until this very moment. For that, I apologize.

And to make up for my insolence, I have prepared a birthday haiku:

Put on some lip gloss

Open presents, eat some cake

Birthday time for You.

Sing the birthday song,

But sing quietly because,

It’s Michael Jackson’s.

And if he finds out

That you’re singing his song

You will have to pay.

Hip-hip-hip horray!

Yesterday was your birthday

Sorry for being late!

Happy Birthday Jan, you are truly a great friend and I am so glad to have someone to push my stroller with, to laugh with, and to do life with.

A conversation with my husband:

Me: Berlyn and I went to Petco today, and it was like a free trip to the zoo for her. She got to see chinchillas, gerbils, fish, snakes, dogs, mice, and rats. She especially liked the rats.

Pat: Rats? Really?

Me: Yeah, they’re really friendly and cuddly. They make excellent pets, when they’re not gnawing through your dry-wall or rummaging around in your trash cans.

Pat: Rats? Really?

Me: My friend had one as a pet when I was in Jr. High. I used to let him hang out on my shoulder and we’d watch the always inappropriate, Days of Our Lives together. This rat was really sweet. I think we should get one for Berlyn, she’d love it.

Pat: Are you serious right now? Because I think you’re kidding. You’re kidding, right?

Me: No, I’m totally serious. They’re really cheap, and you can get one of those plastic balls for them to roam around in. We can name him Bernard.

Pat: Are you talking about the same rats that live in the sewer and hang out with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Me: Yeah, they’re cute, let’s get one.

Pat: No.

Me: Damn.

Sunday night we saw Radiohead at the Hollywood Bowl. Their show was perfection, except for that one time Thom forgot the lyrics and he was all, “bullocks!” Oh, to be British.

But first we walked around Robertson Blvd in West Hollywood, in hopes of running into the cast of The Hills. After no signs of Heidi and Spence, we got a little hungry and ate at the Ivy, where my drink cost 95 dollars.

Then we headed to the show.

We watched Radiohead make amazing sounds with thousands of other people, all of whom where mildly sedated and gently swaying.

I’ll admit I was a little high from the billows of second hand smoke that were so lovingly blown in my direction from Mr. One Row Down, and Mr. Directly Behind Me, and Mr. To My Right. Thanks boys, the concert wouldn’t have been the same without you!

They neglected to play my favorite song, Fake Plastic Trees, and part of me thanks them for that, because if they played it, my brain might have exploded.

Favorite Movies:
Best in Show
The Royal Tenenbaums
Amalie
Magnolia
Motorcycle Diaries

Baby Names (I’m not really a big fan of sharing my favorite baby names, because I have this fear that people will steal all of my fantastical ideas and charade around as if they were their own).
but here are some of my favorites:
Sailor (G)
Holland (G)
Carver (B)
Lucy (G)
Preston (B)

All Time Favorite Songs:
Last Flowers Radiohead
First Day of My Life Bright Eyes
Be Be Your Love Rachel Yamagata
O Praise Him David Crowder Band
Brand New Colony Postal service

Books:
Anything from David Sedaris, but favorite would have to be Holidays on Ice
Sons and Lovers D.H. Lawrence
Autobiography of a Fat Bride Laurie Notaro
Where I’m Calling From Raymond Carver
Virginia Woolf’s essays and novels, and short stories…and dairy

People who influenced me:
Jesus
My husband
Berlyn
My 9th grade English teacher, Mr Cyrus
The Barefoot Contessa

Things that are always in my purse:
I don’t carry a purse. This is a cold, sad reality, mainly because I have thousands of dollars invested in beautiful Italian handbags from Marc Jacobs, Chloe, and Botiker, to name a few. What? Is that bragging? Opps. Sorry, I’ll work on being more humble. But I do carry a diaper bag, and a school bag, and five things that I always have in there are:
iPhone
water
bobby pins
wallet
Orbit gum (all flavors are favorites except for the new melon one, bleeech)

moments that changed my life forever:
When I decided to live on campus in college
Meeting my husband
the day I got my iPhone
Berlyn’s Birthday
My step dad’s death

obsessions I currently have:
Cutting Fringe
V neck jersy t-shirts
Creamer with my coffee
listening to M.I.A.
coloring with my daughter

Places I would like to go:
Barcelona
Tokyo
Greece
Monaco
Amsterdam

Appliances of kitchen tools I couldn’t live without favorite t.v. shows:
Project Runway
So You Think You Can Dance
Tabitha’s Salon Take Over– I’ve only seen one episode, but I’m hooked.
Barefoot Contessa
Top Chef

Whew! That was fun. It was like going on a first date with me without buying me lobster tail and antagonizing over the goodnight kiss. Do you guys have any favorites you’d like to add? Do you think you’ll ask me out on a second date??

P.S.

Thanks Allie

let’s just say, it was not the look I was going for.

Let me explain: I loved him for the songs he wrote, for his lyrics, melodies, and the ebb and flow of his songs that seemed to push me past the minutia of my days. I loved his rhythm, the timbre in his voice, and the gentle obscurities that he sang about.

While we were in college, my dear friend Melinda and I would drive to San Diego and Hollywood to hear his shows. The sets were very small and intimate. Before his show you could find him at the bar, nonchalantly drinking a pint, and I had a few conversations with him, that pretty much went like this:
Me: hi.
Jason: Hey
Me: um, hi…can you play the cat song?
Jason: sure thing.
Me: thanks, it’s like my favorite song
Jason: cool.
Me: yep. cool.

But soon enough some big record producer came by and snatched him up. His songs went from beautiful to obnoxious, and I couldn’t stand to hear him on the radio. His music totally changed and it sucked.

It’s been a few years, and after a lot of thought I think I’m willing to rekindle my romance with Jason. We have both changed a lot in the years and I’m ready to give him a second chance. Just don’t f___ it up, Jason.

Natalie is convinced that her husband is cheating…

Saturday we went to the park and I practiced my balance beam skills. I’m getting really, really good. Notice my poise and complete concentration? That didn’t happen over night, that took astute discipline.

Then Saturday night we went over to the Mattson’s and met Jax the Wonder Dog, a 12 week old English Bulldog.

Let’s just say, there was much squealing.

Sunday we went to Disneyland with the Lucai (that’s plural for Lucas)

After mommy had a margarita she changed Berlyn’s diaper and put her shoes back on the wrong feet…oops, my bad. Time for another margarita!