Wanna know how to lose 20 pounds in 5 days?
December 29, 2009Have a baby.
Hot Jambalaya! I almost look and feel normal again, well, except for the leaky tits, the giant puff-balls under my eyes, and the not being able to sit in a chair for longer than 12 minutes.
Just one glance at my little precious, soft, smooth, newborn, and I’m so far beyond bliss that I sometimes forget that my ass and surrounding lady parts look like a jelly fish minus the tentacles. Except I wouldn’t actually know that it looks like a jelly fish minus the tentacles from personal experience, because, HELL to the NO, I am not brave enough to look in between my legs. Nope. I might take a glance in 4 to 6 weeks if I happen to find myself holding a bottle of whiskey and a hand mirror in a poorly lit room, but for now, I’ll pass.
So, do you want to hear my birth story?
I have to tell you about it because it makes me a bit of a hypocrite.
Yes, me. A hypocrite.
I had 12 hours of the most intense labor, and then I demanded the drugs.
THE FUCKING DRUGS!!
I went into the whole labor process clear-minded and ready to experience the natural and beautiful gift of childbirth, with all the pains and sensations that go with it. I was excited, and a little nervous, but mostly excited.
Cut to me 12 hours later–
And I was done.
My body started to feel like it was being ripped apart. With each contraction that came on, I felt myself uncontrollably fight it, and I was unable to acquiesce to the work that my uterus was doing despite all the preparation I did before labor that taught me how to handle that type of pain. The room was black with agony, and my back, my legs, my abdomen all throbbed with fire.
My husband and doula tried to remind me that I wanted a natural birth, but that seemed such a miniscule notion in light of what I was going through: all I wanted was this baby out, and the pain to stop.
After the epidural I was happy again.
And then 9 oozy gooey hours later Hudson Jack was born.
12+9 = 21 hours of labor.
WTF?
I thought second babies were supposed to come out faster?
Whatever.
The good news is I had a successful VBAC and I talked it over with Jesus, and he’s cool with me using the drugs.
18 Comments
I’ve been lurking here for a bit but had to come out to say: Congratulations Mama!
He’s gorgeous and you clearly did a really good job.
Congrats! He’s beautiful. I was too freaked to try VBAC, so give you mad props for doing that. Hope your cooch heals quickly.
CONGRATS! He is adorable! I am so happy for yr family! LOVE goes out! xoxoxooxxoxoo
Natalie Johnson
12/29/09
8:17 pm
Beckey, I love you. Great post! You got me nervous and excited all at once. Many congrats on your successful VBAC. The only thing that helps me sleep at night is knowing that I can get an epidural again. When I got mine, at 16 hours, I said “it’s a miracle!” and then took a 2 hour nap. It was glorious. Pretty sure that’s my birth plan this time through. Hudson is adorable and you look gorgeous. Can’t wait to visit when you’re ready….actually, I’d rather not see you with your flat little stomach while mine is busting at the seems. I’ll see you in a few weeks 
Kristin (kgroovy)
12/29/09
9:31 pm
What is a VBAC?
Congrats!! He is adorable!! I love the name too. Great name.
Jil
12/29/09
10:04 pm
I am so happy for you baby cousin! Congrats to you all. I can’t wait to meet the little man! Love to the fam!
Julie Snell
12/29/09
10:05 pm
I am loving the hair on Hudson! Congrats on such a handsome boy!
What a cutie!! Congrats!
By the way, a bout of malaria or typhoid has been known to help frop those pounds quickly as well! (That’s just a bit of expat humour).
You look great even on birth day! How can that be? Go gurl!
Cheers
Holli in Ghana
one bonus of having a c section… the lady parts don’t turn into a “jelly fish without tentacles”… too funny. I think they eventually go back… I think.
Congrats!
Hippo Brigade
12/30/09
8:49 am
Kristin, a VBAC is a vaginal birth after a c-section.
Wendy Wilson
12/30/09
9:01 am
OMG… 21 Hours, you are a hero! and he is amazing! Congrats!
Jennifer Ogdon
12/30/09
2:15 pm
He is such a beautiful baby!!
Steam Me Up, Kid
12/30/09
6:07 pm
Oh he’s adorable. And I love that name! Congratulations!
madison
1/1/10
10:20 pm
congrats! whatta gorgeous baby such a sweetheart.
Katelyn
1/2/10
9:08 pm
yay for babies coming out of our vaginas!!! he is so perfect and adorable i just can’t stand it. you’ve given it to me. the baby fever. and a word to the wise- do not under any circumstance look at your vag. i made my mom tell me what it looked like right afterwards and she started to say something and then just shook her head. her silence was enough so i looked at mine. yikes. that’s all i want to say about that.
Becky this is Mariah I’ve met you a few times…Your son is precious and such a mini man. Congratulations on having a healthy baby and going the VBAC route. That’s like having a kid for the first time (or so I’ve heard from other VBAC mom’s). Your birth story is so amazing, you are a strong woman. And about your vagina I agree give it a few weeks. I took a peek a few days after Isaac and wow not something you ever need to see. I asked my best friend (who has had a few kids) if I would ever he whole again. I am but it took a good 6 weeks. Hope your vagina heals swiftly!
gorillabuns
1/7/10
2:23 pm
He is absolutely beautiful!
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