Walking is soo Over Rated
How do you not compare? How do you look at other babies and not compare and judge? I could give my left dimpled butt-cheek that your baby sticks his pointer finger high in the air when asked how old he is. Or that your daughter can say 18 words (most of which aren’t words at all, but mere sounds like, Ah, daa, goo. And no, nothing about those words remotely resembled ball, dad, or Guggenheim). But yet, in the back of my mind, while I’m nodding politely at your baby who is using sign language to tell you that he wants his bottle (he’s still using a bottle??), I am judging you. It’s a peaceful and unmotivated judgment, but I am judging you none the less.
But in all fairness and honesty, I think you’re judging me too. You see, I read a statistic in What to Expect, the Toddler Years, that said 90% of all 15 month olds are walking. Which means that my baby is in the 10% group of babies that is not. I don’t know why she isn’t walking yet, and I’ve given her plenty of opportunities. But for some reason her inability to walk is giving me a complex. I feel like I have failed her as a mother, and that she’s missing out on fun activities. I am insecure when we go to play groups and people ask me how old my daughter is, and when I answer, I feel their eyes smugly judging as they watch her crawl around. I know I am crazy for worrying about this, and I’ve been told a handful of times that it’s a blessing by exasperated mothers that are chasing their overactive walkers, but they’re just being nice albeit, a little condescending.
I can’t force her to walk, and from the looks of it, she’s really not all that into it. She pushes things around, and holds my hand, but as soon as I let go she collapses to the floor, and it takes everything in me not to get frustrated. My mom tells me that I didn’t walk until 15 months, and now I’m a fabulous walker. I know nothing is ‘wrong’ with her, but in our twisted society, babies that pick up new things quickly are praised as geniuses and child prodigies, and is it so much to ask that my baby be the best baby in the whole wide world?
The Conversation
by pat
May 2nd, 2008
1:53 pm
perhaps it’s my fault, i’ve been spending much more time teaching her how to flick-navigate photos on the iphone than walk. i bet the other 15-month-olds in her play group can’t do that.
by amy
May 2nd, 2008
5:18 pm
It is just the way it is…I swear it gets a bit easier- but not much. She is perfect and you know that, but it is hard. The whole judgement issue is swirling around us from the moment they come out…A judgement/guilt tornado. Just relax and know that on the day she decides to walk you can look back on this brilliant archive you have created for her and smile…
by Amanda
May 2nd, 2008
9:20 pm
I just picked up Dooce’s book if you want to have a read when I’m done!
by heart shaped hedges
May 3rd, 2008
6:22 am
My son and youngest daughter walked at 11 months. More importantly, by 7-8 months, they could get anywhere in the house by holding on to things and cruising around.
My middle daughter, she didnt walk until 16 months…and NEVER cruised around or held onto things. If you set her down somewhere, she would stay there until you moved her, she just had no desire to explore.
She is now 5, and not only can she walk, but she has a dance recital tomorrow, and she does a great job…she is ahead of many of her peers in the physical coordination department.
I wondered if she was a dim bulb, if you know what I mean, since she didnt have the urge for curious exploration as a toddler. Quite the contrary, she is very bright, again, ahead of her peers in that area.
I will say, that she is more cuddly and content than my other two….outgoing, but not bouncing off the walls with energy, thank God.
Im sure Berlyn will not only walk soon, but one day you will see this as a part of her personality, a good part.
by Dena
May 4th, 2008
3:28 pm
Berlyn is brilliant. She doesn’t need to walk to prove it! And yes, walking is over rated.
by Dianne
May 4th, 2008
9:37 pm
You said it all in the title!
by Casey
May 5th, 2008
2:36 pm
OK so she can’t walk yet no big deal….Cali is 18 months now and all she says is mom and dad. She has been doig this for about a year now and then she just stopped saying new stuff. Well, she does say Ga and Ca and Da and uummmmmmm. Some things come faster for some kids and the stuff that takes more time will hopefully kick in soon.
by dgm
May 5th, 2008
3:55 pm
Just wait ’til she soars and looks down on them all.
Seriously, they’re all individuals, I tells ya, and they’re gonna do their things when they are nice and ready. I have long believed that babies and toddlers focus either on physical or verbal skillz, but not both at the same time. So you can get this phenomenally physical kid, but he begins speaking later than “normal.”
And finally, sometimes it’s not about a baby’s inability to do something, but her desire not to try yet. My friend’s son, who is the same age as my son, didn’t walk alone until 16 months, but it was more about not wanting to let go of mommy’s finger than a “problem” with his legs. Just think, there’ll come a day Berlyn will be too embarassed to hold your hand.
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