Hippo Brigade

I need a vacation. I came to this realization at the precise moment that I was going number two in the downstairs bathroom. I drank an extra large cup of coffee this morning, which means I had the urge for a BM extra-immediately. I waddled into the bathroom and cracked the door–this was my mistake, I should have closed the door entirely. Mere seconds later, both my toddler and my pug came traipsing into the half-bath to begin their shenanigans. Berlyn was opening the cupboards and unrolling all the toilet paper, while Zoey was trying to eat my underwear and lick my shins–all while mama was trying to have some ‘quiet-time’. AHHRRHGG!!!

I wish I was here instead of getting my shins licked by an incredibly needy dog:

or here would be nice too:

…or here:

But instead of whisking myself off to some foreign country, I have a feeling I’ll just have to plug my headphones into my iPod and just pretend, because I’ll most likely end up here: