The Tampon Story
April 29, 2009You asked for it:
It was the summer of 6th to 7th grade. I was socially awkward, and I wish I had a photo to show you the socially awkwardness. Well, I do somewhere but I prefer to leave you in the dark, because ohh the eyebrows, and the frizz, and the matching scrunches. But for some odd reason, I was popular. People actually liked me despite my crooked teeth and enthusiasm for wearing oversized tee-shirts and rolled up colored denim shorts.
I was liked so much in fact, that I got invited to the pool party of the summer. I was thrilled, and I ran up to my room to try on 6 different bathing suits to find which one matched my orange plastic dangly earrings the best.
And then the day of the party I got my period. Shoot! Alright Beckey, it’s no big deal, I tried to calm myself, I’ll just sit this one out. I was still determined to go to the party, but just not swim. I was all about the plushness, bulkiness, and awkward comfort a giant maxi pad nestled down there gave me, and there was no way I was going swimming. NOPE. No way.
When I got to the party, everyone was splashing around and I immediatly found a cozy spot under the sun umbrella and sipped a root beer out of the can with a fun straw. I must have looked like a giant looser because every 5 minutes someone would approach me and ask me why I wasn’t swimming. My answers were simple: I forgot my bathing suit, or I can’t get my hair wet because I just got a perm, swimming is against my religion, or I’m scared my earring will get stuck in the drain and pull me into the sewage system, I’ve seen it happen on 20/20, I’m not making this shit up people.
And then the host’s older and way cooler sister came up to me and told me she has some spare bathing suits I could borrow and then she whispered in my ear, “I have tampons in the bathroom too.” And right then my breath caught in my throat. TAMPONS? Oh dear God, the mere mention of the word made my vagina quiver and not in a good way. But my best friend was sitting right beside me and said, “Come on Beckey, I’ll show you how.” I think I choked on my root beer and then cried a little, but after much coaxing, I complied. How bad could it be? I thought, I’ll just get this over with and have a fun time at the party. It’s like I’m in my very own tampon commercial and those things always have a happy ending, right?
So off we went into the bathroom, I locked the door, and then it was time. There was yelling, cursing, uncomfortable bodily positions, and at one point the tampon got a stern talking to.
5 tampons and 28 minutes later and in desperate need of hydration, I emerged victorious. I practically ran to the pool like a fat kid running towards cake. I was so happy and in a fabulous new mood. Then after several hours, it was time to say our goodbyes. My 7th grade boyfriend was giving me an entirely too long and gratuitous hug, and I’m pretty sure he had a boner. He held me close and told me that he had a really good time and that he’d call me tomorrow. I was so excited! And then just as we were we’re going to go our separate ways, he pulled me in closer, and I could have sworn that this was going to be my first kiss. But instead told me he saw everything while I was in the bathroom.
WHAT THE WHAT?!! How did you see everything? I was furious, and humiliated, and felt so vulnerable. He then showed me the vent that connected into the bathroom. On the other side was the boy that lived there’s room, and he had a bunk bed, and ALL the boys at the party gathered up on that bunk bed and peered into the vent to watch a poor, pathetic girl use a tampon for the first time.
The end.
22 Comments
This is such a frustrating story! It simultaneously makes me want to punch someone, and lock our daughter up at home so as to not have to experience such things. I’m amazed you have the confidence to now write it here for all to read.
josh
4/29/09
12:01 pm
wow…
Jamye Jack
4/29/09
12:37 pm
You poor thing. Did you punch him in the face?!
There are no words for the mortification I would have felt had I been in your shoes. You had to have been one very strong self-assured teen to have lived through that.
I would have entered the witness protection program. New name, new location, no tampons ever again.
OMG What did you say after he showed you? I would have DIED.
I would be mortified now at my age if somebody saw that but when you are a teenager…holy hell I don’t know how you got through it. Hopefully you weren’t teased about it much.
Julie Snell
4/29/09
7:41 pm
That is the greatest and also the worst story I have ever heard!
SUz Broughton
4/29/09
10:09 pm
That was the most awesome story–Every! Um, I mean, that must have been horrible for you. So sorry.
So glad we all pressured you to tell it. But you can’t just reference “the Tampon” story and expect us to let it go at that. So worth it.
Suz
OH MY GAD! That’s one of the worst first tampon stories I have EVER heard. I’m laughing, but feeling uncomfortable about it at the same time. OH myyyyyyy. The first time I got my period was the first day of our family vacation at the beach. I locked myself in the bathroom crying and horrified, until my aunt weaseled her way in with a compact mirror and a box of tampons. It was not a pleasant experience.
Ohdearlord! I maybe would have dropped out of school. I bit the bullet and used a tampon for the first time in order to attend a bonfire. I was not instructed properly and spent the entire evening sitting at a bonfire out in the boonies on a rock with a tampon half in, half out, thinking ‘WHY do people use these?! They are so HORRIBLY uncomfortable.’
Never metchya, but I just shared a tampon story.
Just Barely
5/2/09
5:26 pm
Quack.tastic. Thanks for the laugh!
Wendy Wilson (the other twin you met at Sarah Fitz's house)
5/3/09
7:37 am
Dear Lord in Heaven!!! That is so aweful! I was enjoying it for a few paragraphs, laughing out loud even… then it took an evil turn! So evil… You are such a hero to so many females for getting through that and still being so awesome. Actually, maybe you are so awesome bc of this, maybe not, but I am trying to find something redeeming about your plight. 
WOW!
And I thought my friend who left the applicator in all day had a bad story!!
Going down the list of BlogCrush peeps. See ya later
Scout Baxxter
5/8/09
12:29 am
Ohh dear! it’s one thing to have a wardrobe malfunction in front of your bf’s parents but its quite another to have all the boys at a party to see you trying to get that god forsaken tampon in for the first time..
Malcolm
5/16/09
11:26 am
OK. I’m a male.
Read your story and understand – as much as I can, being a bloke – your embarrassment, horror and humiliation.
I would like to thank you for sharing the “women’s secrets” that we males do not know. We should but we don’t. I honestly did not know the difference between a tampon and a towel – in the sense that one would use this product for this situation and that product for that situation. The only thing I can compare your “rite of passage” experience to – from a male point of view – is the first few ejaculations that a male experiences. These usually occur during sleep and are involuntary – meaning that they occur not as a result of masturbation or stimulation by another. Probably a result of dreams – hence “Wet Dreams”. And yes, sometimes they happen at a friends house. You wake up, see that you have trashed the sheets and want to “fix it” before your mate’s Mom sees what you have done. Of course, she walks in and sees you – naked – trying to figure out her washing machine at 05:00AM. Ouch!
Anyway, thanks for the story.
Mal
Alex
6/16/09
8:32 pm
OMFG i would be ssoooo embarrassed i swear I would have slapped him and all the other boys across the face!!!!
i feel your pain dude!
Aleksander
3/24/10
5:30 pm
Why the hell didnt your boyfriend kick the other boys asses, and tell them not to look at you.
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