September 10, 2012
We’re due in two and a half months, which isn’t a good realization for me, because the reality that I prefer to live in is one where I’m looking forward to a pain-free birth, a ton more time to prepare, and a Cap’n Crunch-sized treasure chest filled with a combination of Cap’n Crunch cereal and gold bars to
finish start working on the nursery.
There’s actually a reason we haven’t started on the nursery, and that reason is called madness. Instead of starting on the baby’s room, we decided to move Berlyn’s room into our old office, which would give her more space and coincidentally give me a stress migraine. Cheers! But it’s actually kinda awesome, because we’ve just painted the walls deep velvety plum, and left one wall blank so that we can wallpaper it with old book pages. There’s talk of hanging a gold chandelier, putting down a luxe shag rug, and there’s also mention of painting her furniture a deep plum color. Um, it’s going to be amazing.
Now for the baby’s room (Berlyn’s old room) we have no such direction. We’re just bumbling around hoping that some piece of inspiration will stick. Plus, we spent all our time and cash on Berlyn’s room, so we officially have zero time or resources left to do anything awesome. Crap. Sorry baby. We still love you. It’s just that instead of drawers, we’ll extract your clothing out of plastic storage bins and you’ll be sleeping on a crib mattress butted up against bare walls for the next year or so…don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. And it will prepare you for college living.
I think maybe this whole sense of unpreparedness stems from not knowing if the tiny human I’m growing has a penis or a vagina. The idea of suspense is thrilling, but it’s also making me very unmotivated. I’ve done zero shopping for this baby, I haven’t gone spelunking in the garage yet to pull out old baby apparatuses, and if this baby was born tomorrow it’s name would be “Baby,” which worked in Dirty Dancing, but I’m assuming it would have a hard time past preschool with that moniker.
So I need your help. Help name my baby for me! Just give me some good ideas, so I can have the sense that I’ve regained a tiny bit of control.
Here are some front runners, and you tell me what you think, or add some spicy ones of your own. It’s really the only way I’m going to ward off this pending stress migraine.