The end of an era.


May 18, 2010

I think I’m done having babies. At least that’s what I keep telling my lady parts.

I’m all, “Listen here ovaries, fallopian tubes, and you too uterus! No more babies, ya hear?”

Don’t you wish it was that easy? Then you wouldn’t have to worry about your sheets smelling like a condom or those beastly birth control mood swings.

You know what I’m talking about ladies, those crazy fits of rage where you flip over the table, stand on the rubble, and then do a lewd hand gesture to your neighbor out the window as he walks his dog. And then seconds later you let out a meek, “sorry”, and nonchalantly shrug your shoulders to your husband, as if to say, What? Now who’s gonna clean this mess and apologize to Mr Sheldon?

Yeah, I’m not so down with that.

Yoo-hoo! Hello?

Back to me being done having babies.

Hudson is such a precious little nugget, that I’m cherishing every part of his baby-ness, because I know it’s the last time.

He’s been sleeping beside me in a co-sleeper since he was born.

You know, those crib thingies that attach to your bed? So you can caress their soft head while they sleep, OR jostle them rigidly while you’re half awake to make sure they’re still breathing?

Ya, those things.

This is what they look like:

I’m sorry, let me rephrase that. This is what they look like if you’re incredibly hip, and modern, and you live in Tokyo, or some awesome Scandinavian town. Mine just looks like this:

About two months ago (when he was 3 months old), I did his night time routine and laid him down in his co-sleeper, and he usually rolls over and goes right to sleep as if to say, okay mama see ya on the flip side. Which really means, see ya in 6.5 hours where I’ll desperately cry out for some leche, then fall asleep half way through the feeding and leave your left boob all lopsided. SUCKA!

But this night was different. He cried.

A lot.

And after trying many things, I stuck him in his crib. In his room. Really, really far down the hall. Which is at least 20 steps away.

He fell right asleep.

But when it was time for me to go to bed, I grabbed him out of his crib and stuck him back into his co-sleeper, next to me. Who’s the sucka now, huh Hudson?

All was fine for a few weeks, then he cried out again. And again. So finally I acquiesced, and let him sleep in his crib all night.

What kind of baby tells you he’s ready to sleep in his own room?

A crazy baby named Hudson, that’s who.

That night was fun. I paced the halls, stared at his video monitor, and contemplated laying with him in his crib.

It’s been a few weeks, and he’s doing swell in his own room. But his co-sleeper is still attached to my bed.

It’s empty, waiting for him to come back.

But he’s not going to.

It’s kinda sad, really.

But it’s not totally empty. It’s become my new night stand. Because the co-sleeper blocks my actual night stand. So I have my chapstick in there, my mouthguard, my bottle of water, my monitor. I think I might even stick one of Berlyn’s dolls in there to make me feel less weird about this whole thing.

Because putting a fake baby in the co-sleeper would make the whole thing less weird.


Vicodin also makes you flip over the table, stand on the rubble, and then do a lewd hand gesture to your neighbor out the window as he walks his dog. =)

Fun read! It’s always a delight to discover a blogger who makes humor sound effortless.

by BellaKarma on May 18, 2010

I slept on the floor of my daughter’s room for a week when she moved to her crib. I would still be doing it if my husband hadn’t convinced me I was emotionally warping her.

by Libby on May 18, 2010

Ahahahaha! I did the EXACT SAME THING when Rilyn started sleeping in her own room (when she was 6 months, mind you) and I just took her basinette (aka my hold-all-the-crap-that-goes-on-the-nightstand-I-can’t-reach) out of our room. It was really hard! I thought it was just me being a psycho first time mom. But I guess it’s the same for psycho second time mom’s too. 🙂 Thanks for always making me feel more “normal” about these types of things!

by Heather on May 18, 2010

Your baby is already a teenager. Congratulations. Start stocking up on condoms and pop tarts.

by Miss Yvonne on May 18, 2010

I feel you friend! Mia’s head touches the top of her basket and her toes touch the bottom, which means she’s TO BIG FOR HER BASKET. But I still put her in it every night, like she’s going to shrink sometime during the day or something. Girl needs to be in her crib. It’s painful.

by sarah on May 18, 2010

I cried the first night Finn slept in his bed even though it is literally 5 steps across the hall. I kept reaching over to the co-sleeper to check him, then jolting awake before remembering he was in ANOTHER ROOM. Why was it so FAR away?

I feel for you.

by Michelle on May 18, 2010

flipping funny! thanks for the fun read….and yes, it sucks big time when they move on their schedule. if it were anyone else’s kid, we’d say “oh, congrats”…..but when it happens to us personally, major suckage. congrats! (i think?!)

by Tammie on May 19, 2010

Damn, you took the funny comment right out of my mouth when you tacked on at the end the part about it being less weird to put a doll in the co-sleeper.

by Michelle on May 19, 2010

Oh so funny. Makes me glad I forgot to get a co-sleeper. My babe does sleep in his super cool stroller/basinet. Maybe I will roll it a few inches down the hall every night for a few weeks to ease the transition to his room. Ha!

by melinda on May 21, 2010

You are funny…and you make me laugh…and I like that part.

by E to the J on May 21, 2010

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