Sunflower Seeds are Little Drops of Sunshine

I get on these strange food kicks, where I only want one type of food all the time. It happened with baked potatoes, Greek salad, chicken sausage pita sandwiches, soup, Golden Spoon frozen yogurt, Ruffles potato chips dipped in cottage cheese, and so on. Today it’s sunflower seeds. I feel like I’m supposed to be on a tractor when I eat these, either that or watching a drag race. There’s all this cracking and spitting, and it’s not very lady like. But I keep coming back for more salty goodness. I eat them until my lips get wrinkly and my fingers get little salty blisters, that’s when I know I’m all done.

This morning I opened a fresh bag of sunflower seeds and started cracking. Oh the joy! Sunflower seeds in the morning! My husband looked at me like I was loosing my mind a little bit because I was so gleeful while I cracked and spit. I should have been eating a bowl of nutritious cereal and a halved grapefruit with mild sprinkling of flax seed–but no, I opted for sunflower seeds instead.
This seed obsession started way back when I was just a little girl. I watched my dad crack sunflower seeds while nestled comfortably in his famed barcalounger watching some 2-star movie on HBO. I would grab a mug from the kitchen and sit with him, and together we’d crack sunflower seeds while watching Weekend at Bernie’s 2.
I also remember taking a generous handful of sunflower seeds and retreating to my room as a little girl to make the most amazing drawings you’ll never see on my chalk board. I placed the seeds in a heap next to my chalk and began cracking as I drew elephants roller skating. I accidently took a piece of chalk in my hand and threw it into my mouth as if it were a seed. I munched it hard and was disheartened when I realized instead of a salty little seed, I got a mouthful of dust.

So this morning I poured myself a cup of coffee and had another cup to spit my empty seed carcasses into. I was extra careful not to mix the cups up, as I was known to do: the one on the right is for drinking, the one on the left is for throwing your regurgitated shells into–easy, no?. But sure enough, I went to take a sip from my coffee mug, and found little seed shells floating on the top–I just fished them out and took a nice long sip…yum.

4 thoughts on “Sunflower Seeds are Little Drops of Sunshine

  1. I hope you’re not wasting your time with those imitation seeds…you know, the one’s that come in the green packaging for 99 cents at your local drug store. If you’re going to partake of this storied snack food, you might as well do it properly…
    1) Start with a cheek-full of David sunflower seeds (right or left cheek depending on your preference…you have freedom here).
    2) Transfer one seed over to the empty side of your mouth.
    3) Use your tongue to rest the shell on its side in between your back teeth and crack it open.
    4) Use your tongue to remove the seed and store it temporarily on the side of your mouth.
    5) Use your tongue to flip one half of the empty shell over and place it up against the other half (kind of like they are spooning).
    6a) Spit the shells out into your Styrofoam cup.
    OR Preferably
    6b) Spit the shells with great force as far as you can. You can also get creative here and launch them at the head of an unsuspecting bystander, or possibly into a trash can you’ve placed a few feet away. You’ve got a great imagination so I’m sure you’ll have no difficulty coming up with countless interesting targets.
    7) Enjoy the freshly birthed seed.

    Go back and repeat steps 2 through 7 until your mouth is empty. That is a good time to take a big gulp of water before you refill your cheek with another heaping fistfull of seeds.

    Beckey, this is a talent that takes much patience and practice to master. However, to quote to the great poet Rilke, “Nothing worthwhile is easy”. I truely believe that you will be a better person if you’re willing to invest the time and effort that is required to be a skillful sunflower seed eater/spitter person who eats seeds and spits them well (that last sentence should be read with a Ben Stiller inflection…a la Zoolander…so go back and read it again).

    - Eric

    P.S. I would be happy to critique your technique and offer further insight/tips upon request.

  2. LOL, that’s funny. I go on food jags, too. Although most of them don’t require spitting. I gagged a little bit at that last line. Just thought you’d like to know. ;)

  3. I am now totally craving Golden Spoon… my kids are going to be so pleased when we head there directly after school!

    Also, Eric… impressive tips!

  4. then there is the flip side to the salty sunflower seed experience……ever tried the candy coated version…. kinda like peanut m&m’s, but with sunflower seeds instead? you can feel better about yourself while you get your sugar-high on. We’re big on sunflower seeds around here – any and all variations.

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