HIPPO BRIGADE

Q/A with Hippo Brigade 3

September 14, 2009

Didn’t I just do a Q/A with Hippo Brigade like 7 days ago?

No? Okay good, because I need to do another one, because OH MY SHITS! I’m disturbed. Like really.

Disturbing words are showing up on my analytics page because you guys are googling some freaky fetishes and landing on my website. It kind of makes me feel really dirty, like I need to take a hot shower, but keep all my clothes on, because as I wash off those thoughts, I don’t want them to see my vulnerable parts or touch any of my skin.

That’s cool though. The Hippo is not a place of judgement. Come as you are, and if you’re looking for a photo of a Hippo’s vagina, you’re out of luck, but I do have some fresh baked cookies and a frosty glass of milk and a reading from 1 Corinthians.

Do stay a while, and we can talk. Especially about why you think it’s a good idea to look at a hippo’s vagina.

Here’s a sampling of the truly disturbing ones (oh, and that part above where I said something about not judging–yeah, I was totally lying):

A boy showed me how to use a tampon Nope, I refuse to believe this is true.

Curling iron as a dildo This is gross. A curling iron should only be used for curling your hair…the hair on your head.

That’s it.

Dogs ass hole pics You sicko. What do you need to look at dog’s butt holes for?

Hippo Vagina Unless you’re doing your biology report on the mating ritual of the hippo, or hippo birth there’s really no need to know about a hippo’s vagina. Actually, even if you’re doing a report, still leave a hippo’s lady parts alone. That’s hers, and she’d appreciate if you did not do a google search on it.

How many tampons for a 4 day vacation? This one makes me happy, because I thought I was the only one in the world who is a total moron when it comes to math. This is like one of those word problems on the SATs, ‘If Sally menstruates for 6 days, but is going on vacation for 4 of those 6 days, and her flow is medium to heavy the first day, how many tampons will she require for her 4 day vacation?’ I’d say get one of those combo boxes at Target and be done with the math.

is it bad to huff dryer sheets Yes.

male tampon training I don’t get it, why does a man need to know how to use a tampon?? Maybe it’s better that I’m in the dark on this one.

manatee snot rockets This would make a good band name

moms picking babies boogers with fingernails When we pick our baby’s boogers we are just fulfilling a part of our job description, those boogers aren’t going to pick themselves, ya know?

my dog’s ass smells like shit Yup, my dog too

wake up with bruises on my legs everyday This is weird, perhaps you’re anemic. Or beating yourself up in your dreams.

Raise your hand if you feel dirty!! Time for a clothing required hot shower for me and all my readers.