Hippo Brigade

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It’s time for another edition of Q/A with Hippo Brigade, where I find out the crazy crap you’re googling and try to answer your question or help you with what you’re looking for.

can a dog pass a dryer sheet? Let’s first address why your dog ate a dryer sheet in the first place. I mean, who the frick does that? My dog just looks at dryer sheets, gives them an obligatory sniff, and then moves on. So, why is your dog eating dryer sheets? Did you run out of doggie snacks? Stop feeding her all together? That’s messed up. Of corse she’s relegated to eating dryer sheets, she’s STARVING! For frick’s sake, feed your dog some food!

do hippos feel wet when you touch it? That depends on if they are wet or not. My instinct says, if the hippo is laying in a pool of water, he’s going to feel wet, if he’s laying on the ground, working on his sexy suntan, he probably feels dry, albeit a little moist from all the sweating.

why perms stink when you sweat? When was in fourth grade I was young and impressionable, and I acquired a perm. I’ll admit, the first few hours were semi-stinky ones. But after my head and hair learned to coexist, the stink dissipated and my curls were luxurious and adorable. Then after two days I could wash my head freely, so my advice is this: don’t get into sweaty situations for the first two days of perming your hair, after that, you can sweat all you’d like, but please take a shower afterwards.

hippo butt cookies- There’s really no question here, just an awesome dessert idea for my next party

yellow flats and how to wear-Buy them and then place them on your feet. Avoid wearing red too, lest you enjoy looking like Ronald Mc Donald.

nurses wipe shit? -Yup, that’s why when you find yourself in a hospital, you should try really hard not to shit yourself, because those nurses need a break. But if you can’t help it and you find yourself sitting in a heap of your own feces, you should quickly make your nurse a card, or a crocheted scarf to show her your appreciation for cleaning up your shit.

4 Comments

Amanda
4/2/09
1:02 pm

I cannot adequately express my gratitude for your constant help in navigating this crazy, crazy world.

gorillabuns
4/3/09
8:32 am

if you have size 10 1/2 – 11 shoes, one should NEVER wear yellow shoes. i speak from experience.

dgm
4/3/09
4:51 pm

“Can a dog pass a dryer sheet?” : clearly the answer is ‘yes.’ Your dog takes a sniff and moves on. I call that a dog that passes the dryer sheet.

“Do hippos feel wet when you touch it?”: I am disturbed by the plural subject and singular object because it makes me think that the “it” here is not “hippos”, and that’s just gross. what kind of perverts read this blog anyway?

I remember those perms of yore, not because my mom used to get them. And I hate to tell you this Beckey, but your perm stunk (stinked? stank?) long after you believed that your head and hair learned to coexist. While you were swinging those adorable curls in front of jealous girls who wanted to yank the crap out of them, the other kids in line were secretly gagging. That perm smell never really went away; the curly-headed kid just became immune to it. Why, I’ll bet someone has a story about “Beckey the Stinky Haired Kid.” And I mean that in the nicest possible way.