Pregnancy complaining.

Whatever. I’m complaining.

I don’t sleep at night any more.

I try to be positive, but when I don’t get my 10 hours of sleep at night, I get really angry and I want to punch your grandma in the face. And will someone please explain this extra layer of fat I’ve accumulated around my lady parts? What the crap is that about?

Sleeping at night is for sissies and for people who want to be productive during the day. it’s not for me.

But because I have to pretend that I am going to sleep at night, I get all ready for bed, and then turn the light off,

and then lay…awake.

It’s super fun. You should all try it.

No, it’s not insomnia. It’s a fate worse than insomnia.

It’s reflux.

How sick is that?

While I’m trying really hard just to close my eyeballs and get some damn sleep, hot chunky liquid rises up into my mouth. It’s like the liquid is saying, oh, you don’t need sleep right now, what you need is something sour and tangy to chew on. Here you go!

Except, it’s really not very delicious to chew on your stomach acid and bits of half processed food. It reminds me of a tuna cassarole I once had as a kid.

Oh and then there is the burning. The holy-shit-my-throat-is-on-fire burning.

So no, I don’t sleep. Instead, I wander my halls, and pop Tums into my mouth like they were candy. Chalky, disgusting candy.

And I make sure the house isn’t on fire, because I need a project at 3:16 am.

I find it’s a much better use of my time.

Since this is a place of sharing, sometime over sharing, does any one else have some nasty pregnancy symptoms that you’d like to share?

8 thoughts on “Pregnancy complaining.

  1. Holy smokes, you and your brother have a lot in common. Except for the whole pregnant thing, this entry sounds like he could have written it. Sometimes I can’t be near him at night because he smells like Burp.

  2. Ummm…this isn’t a nasty pregnancy complaint, but it’s a complaint nonetheless: morning sickness blows! It has to be the worst thing ever bestowed upon the female species. I mean, seriously. I always feel like I have barf stuck midway down my esophagus. And then when I do gag and heave, nothing comes out. It just stays stuck.

  3. I had reflux when pregnant with my son, but it wasn’t chunky. It was just liquid that burned like ever-lovin’-fire. I gagged, coughed and hurrrked my way thru the last 4 weeks of pregancy with him. I had to sleep at a 45 degree angle so my butt hurt along with everything else.

  4. I had severe audio tattoos playing in my head while I tried to sleep. Mostly it was They Might Be Giants’ songs, and they would stream through my brain and wake me up throughout the night. I’m normally susceptible to ear worms, but it was really extreme during my pregnancies.

    I also got a burning sensation on my arm, as if it was being burned by a cigarette. I now realize it was probably the pre-natal vitamins, which contain a lot of vitamin B.

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