Whatever. I’m complaining.
I don’t sleep at night any more.
I try to be positive, but when I don’t get my 10 hours of sleep at night, I get really angry and I want to punch your grandma in the face. And will someone please explain this extra layer of fat I’ve accumulated around my lady parts? What the crap is that about?
Sleeping at night is for sissies and for people who want to be productive during the day. it’s not for me.
But because I have to pretend that I am going to sleep at night, I get all ready for bed, and then turn the light off,
and then lay…awake.
It’s super fun. You should all try it.
No, it’s not insomnia. It’s a fate worse than insomnia.
How sick is that?
While I’m trying really hard just to close my eyeballs and get some damn sleep, hot chunky liquid rises up into my mouth. It’s like the liquid is saying, oh, you don’t need sleep right now, what you need is something sour and tangy to chew on. Here you go!
Except, it’s really not very delicious to chew on your stomach acid and bits of half processed food. It reminds me of a tuna cassarole I once had as a kid.
Oh and then there is the burning. The holy-shit-my-throat-is-on-fire burning.
So no, I don’t sleep. Instead, I wander my halls, and pop Tums into my mouth like they were candy. Chalky, disgusting candy.
And I make sure the house isn’t on fire, because I need a project at 3:16 am.
I find it’s a much better use of my time.
Since this is a place of sharing, sometime over sharing, does any one else have some nasty pregnancy symptoms that you’d like to share?