Nightstick Grandma

Um, hello? I totally know that Easter was two days ago, and I know you’re all OVER it. And you’re surly because your hoard of Cadbury Eggs were eaten by your pet rooster, and now you have to wait a whole year to eat them again. AND now your rooster has the runs and is crapping foil puddles everywhere. BUT- I have to show you something so delicious that I think you’ll find it amusing enough to pull you right back into the Easter spirit again. 

Instead of the kids in our family doing an Easter egg hunt, my brother, aka the genius, decided the adults should do the Easter egg hunt this year! My daughter is the only ‘child’ in the family right now, and it’s kinda boring watching her scuttle around the lawn in search of eggs filled with candy that I won’t let her eat anyway. Because I’m mean. And I want it all for myself. And I’m trying to divert her from an unhealthy and cationic relationship with sugar, because Lord knows I’ve been there. 

So we sent them off on their hunt with well wishes and the hopes that they would return victorous. 

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Awwh, look at them, they’re all so proud and delighted!

But wait. You ask, what is the elderly one on the end doing with a nightstick and a bullet proof vest on?

Well half way through the egg hunt, we hit a lull, and the crowd was getting restless. In attempts to boost moral, my security gaurd cousin dipped into his trunk and pulled out a snappy outfit for Grandma. 

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And with her new found confidence she got from holding the nightstick, and her knowledge her lady parts were adequately protected, she went on to win the hunt! She was so emphatic and thirsty for eggs, however, that she banged down neighbors’ doors and stole candy and eggs from sweet little innocent children. We had to give her a tranquilizer and have her locked up for the remainder of the afternoon. But after we removed the vest and took away her nightstick, she returned into the sweet little grandma we all know and love.

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Yup, just a typical holiday gathering with my family.

4 thoughts on “Nightstick Grandma

  1. So, I really thought that your Grandma wasn’t wearing any pants in the second picture. I had to look at it for a few minutes to realize that they just flesh toned. So cute.

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