Hippo Brigade

My parents gave me a nice enough name: Rebecca. Although they never call me that, instead they call me Beckey. No, I don’t think you heard me right, it’s BeckEy. There’s an extra vowel thrown, and I’m pretty sure they added it to give the 6 year old version of myself a panic attack every time a teacher, my friends, or my grandma spelled it incorrectly (and my grandma still spells it wrong–WTF Grams?).

I remember spinning the big keychain display at Disneyland and seeing “Becky” but not “Beckey”. Don’t the fine people who make keychains for Disneyland know that I have AN EXTRA E!? Frick. That whole Disneyland trip was pure shit after that. My brother, Jason, had no trouble finding his stupid, generic name, and twirled his fancy keychain around his finger as I coveted a more simply spelled name. Why couldn’t my name be Anna, Mary, or Sarah? There were always an abundance of Sarah keychains.

scooby_key

So, I figured it was my duty, as a parent, to pass on the frustration to my daughter. She will probably not find her name among the gold cursive necklaces at Sea World, she will probably not find it in the spin- display of keychains at Disneyland, but dammit, it’s a nice name, and any girl would be lucky to have it.

And I’m sure it’s a character builder, or something. Yeah, yeah… that sounds good–I named her Berlyn because it builds charcter. That’s right. That’s exactally why I did that. I don’t want her to think life is perfect and theme parks always have her name on a mug, because LIFE’S JUST NOT FAIR.

Yup, I’m still upset about not getting a “Beckey” Keychain…maybe someday. Someday.

9 Comments

Lora
5/18/09
8:46 am

There are never any LORAs either. LORI, yes. LAURA, plenty.
My son’s name is JACOB. They are always sold out by the time I get to the keychain display.

So sad.

We can’t win.

dgm
5/18/09
8:58 am

My kids usually end up spinning the display hopelessly as well, although Jade did find a mini-license plate. I don’t want her to actually put it on her bike though, where all the child molesters can see it. So think of it this way: you are protecting Berlyn from child molesters who’d look at her cursive necklace and go, “Hi Berlyn. Want some candy? Your mom said it’s okay.”

Mike Krause
5/18/09
10:02 am

Stud Muffin — I can never find Stud Muffin.

sarah
5/18/09
11:46 am

It’s true, Sarah is in abundance. And I totally don’t have as much character as you OR Berlyn. On the upside it’s Biblical, so I have that going for me. (Rebekah is, but Rebecca is not, so you’re out.)

Elisha
5/18/09
4:24 pm

I totally understand what you’ve been going through your whole life! The only cool thing I got with my name on it was a stamp because my mom found a way to order it when I was little! You should look into that and give one to Berlyn when she’s older, it’s way cooler than a key chain and she will feel special. =]

Eric
5/19/09
10:06 am

Thanks for the laugh…you’re really funny. And congratulations to you and Pat as you prepare for baby #2.

Tobias
5/19/09
1:16 pm

I had the same issue as a child. Except my name wasn’t anything as nice and normal as Beckey. No, my parents had to give me a crazy hippy name. Which wouldn’t have been a problem in and of itself (Forest Sky, for example, would’ve been nice), but it was a BAD hippy name. So I changed it. Now it’s nice, normal, AND I have a solar powered keychain that spells it out in blinking lights.

Except people still can’t spell…whoops.