My Mom Puts Things in my Fridge
4 Comments
July 9, 2009
When my mom stays over to watch Berlyn she sticks stuff in my refrigerator. Usually she brings a produce bag stuffed with a strawberry Yoplait yogurt, raw almonds, a box of Wheat Thins, and a bottle of water. Because apparently I don’t have any food in my kitchen. I think she thinks I hate food. I have nothing in my pantry or fridge, and I solely live off coffee and my good looks.
Not only does she bring her own food, but she buys food and sticks the weird leftovers all over my kitchen. I come home and there’s the crust of her sandwich sitting on my counter and quarter cup of milk, 2 baby carrots and a half eaten apple just sitting in the middle of the refrigerator shelf. Gross.
She says it’s for Berlyn. But Berlyn doesn’t want to eat my mom’s half eaten apple. She does have some standards.
The last time she stayed over was about 3 weeks ago. And this morning I was rummaging through my fridge to find a wedge of cheese to chew on. And shoved waaay back into the far reaches of my fridge was a crumpled up paper towel. Ordinarily, I don’t refrigerate my paper towels, and I defiantly don’t ever clean my refrigerator, so I knew as soon as I saw it, it was the work of my mother.
I pulled the paper towel out with the tips of my fingernails, and carefully inspected it. I peered inside without breathing in, and found that It was the yolk of a hard boiled egg.
Who keeps the yolk of a hard boiled egg? Did she save it for me? Why did she hide it in the back of my fridge? Was she trying to sabotage me with the stench of a rotten egg? I think my mom secretly hates me. Oh, so many questions I have to get answered.
I immediately called her up and interrogated her about the egg.
She said that it was weird.
She said she didn’t remember.
She said that maybe it wasn’t her.
No, I don’t believe her. I know it was her.
And when I see her today, I’m going to give it back to her. Because it is hers after all.
Love this blog! So funny Beckey…. xoxo
by melinda on July 9, 2009
eeeeew on the egg.
I had a roomie that used to pull crap like that. I just started throwing the stuff out when I saw it, because she never went back for the last two bites of her sandwich or the half-drunk glass of milk. I hate that. Eat it, dump it or at least have a decent serving left to save and then actually go back and finish it for your next meal.
by Bellacantare on July 9, 2009
Better yet, next time you are at her house, place the towel-wrapped egg in a cupboard. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.
by dgm on July 9, 2009
i have to admit i have boiled eggs from Easter in my fridge only because one of them says “thalon.” downer much? probably…
as for “spontaneous” food left for the masses, my mom’s the best at leaving it only because it’s truly crap food like chips and cookies. shit i try to not give my kids.
by gorillabuns on July 9, 2009
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