HIPPO BRIGADE

My Daughter’s Naps Make me Want to go on Crime Sprees

When she goes to sleep I am able to get stuff done. I can finally brush that thick morning goo off my teeth and take a shower, I can brew a cup of coffee and enjoy sitting and reading my email, I can even crochet, if I was in to that, which I’m not.
The point is, naps are important to both Berlyn and me. And if she doesn’t get the approved alloted amount of sleep, both of us are cranky. ALL DAY.
The whole house is quiet when she sleeps, but when I hear the gardeners or the trash truck pull up, I have to take every precaution not to go outside and say, “SHHHH! Berlyn is sleeping!” and then cock my riffle so that they know I mean business.
Nap time has become a very tense time at our home. When both Pat and I are home and Berlyn is sleeping I follow him around the house giving him the eyebrow raise/eyeball bulge combo that says, “baby sleeping, SHUT UP.” It doesn’t matter what he does, I tend to think it’s too loud. Coughing, whistling, flushing the toilet, all warrant a disapproving look from me.
Mr. UPS man, don’t even think about ringing our doorbell. Just leave the package on the doorstep and quietly shut the gate behind you. I swear, because if you ring the doorbell and your head is not on fire, I have every intention of kicking you in the shins.

I am looking into soundproofing Berlyn’s room. And some medical attention for me.