Being a mom is an entirely selfless act.

It all starts when you get pregnant: the vomit, the zits, the cellulite that will never go away, the stretch marks, the no sushi and the no beer. Why did I sign up for this again? And then there is the birth, and all the goo that erupts from your lady parts, and the constant latch of a tiny baby suckling on your breast. Motherhood is some hard-ass work and freedom is a thing of the past.

Berlyn is a year and a half old now, and I am still struggling with being selfless. I am still stuborn with my thinking. I want my alone time, I want to be able read Anna Karenina without interruptions, while resting listlessly on a towel in the sand.

Instead I have sippys to refill, shoes to find, and diapers to change. My life is not hard by any stretch, and please don’t confuse this rant with complaining. Instead I am tragically admitting my shortcomings of how totally selfish I really am; How instead of reading The Hungry Caterpillar for the 87th time, I’d rather get a pedicure, and instead of making her lunch I want to take a yoga class.

I know I have so much to learn about motherhood, I am still very much a novice. But I tip my hat to those mothers who give and give, and expect nothing in return. They are truly my heroes and if you know one, make her a chocolate souffle cake with raspberry sauce, offer to clean her bathtub, and say thank you.

6 thoughts on “Motherhood

  1. seriously, what is it with The Hungry Catepillar? I think i have been summoned to read that to her a hundred times.
    But she is so cute with it that it is hard to resist.

    I will make you chocolate soufflé and clean your tub:)

  2. The free time does come back… especially after you show the little darlings how to slap together their own turkey sandwich!

    But, I know what you mean… we haven’t had a nanny since February (for the first time in 10 years) and I admit that it’s been an adjustment… mostly good, but there have been times I wish someone else was there to pick up the slack and give me a break.

  3. HA! No, I’m not pregnant. I mean it like, ‘please remind me why I thought this was a good idea’. The ‘again’ was in reference to asking the question ‘why?’ again. Not the act of having babies again.
    No more babies for me right now. I have enough on my plate as is…

  4. Yeah, what Kristin said: the free time comes back. As Berlyn grows, you should always be thinking of new ways to give her independence, which is to say new ways for her to learn to do things for herself. (My daughter had friends (twins) who, at TEN, asked me to cut their pancakes for them. That is just wrong for so many reasons.)

    Berlyn’s independence=Becky’s freedom. Eyes on the prize, sistah.

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