June 5, 2008
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Meet My Dog Zoey
Many of you know Zoey. She’s my lovable pug who snores, smells, and gets a little too excited at meal time. But how many of you can you say that you really know Zoey? If the answer is no, don’t worry, I’m going to help you out.
Zoey was born on a day…um I think it was November 16 2004, via c-section. Pugs can’t have a natural birth because they’re weird and their brains might explode and if their brain juices get on your sofa it will burn a hole in it, and if it gets on your skin you’ll die, or something. It’s true, I saw it on the Discovery Channel.
So she came home with us 3 years ago, after I bombarded my husband with a stream of constant pleas and sexual favors. We named her Zoey, but we hardly ever call her that, it’s far to conventional for our taste. Instead we call her:
Zo Zo Brains
‘Ol Gray Beard
10 Nips (she has 10 nipples; 4 on one side, 6 on the other. Being symmetrical is so not her thing)
Bo Bo Burrito
Sacagawea
She also effectively responds to:
Douche bag
Ass hole
Hooker
and Shit Head
She is the best dog for cuddling, and doesn’t even mind if you squeeze her too tight. She’s always down to lay on your lap, and she’ll even spoon with you. And come on, who doesn’t love to spoon with their smelly, hairy dog?
The Conversation
by Amanda
June 5th, 2008
2:38 pm
I think our dogs would be friends. Yours is stinky and hyper, and mine is old, fat and deaf. I recently conducted an experiment to test this latter characteristic of hers - I screamed her name repeatedly and banged on the wall next to where she was sleeping. She did not, in fact, respond. I’m thinking of switching my major to Biology because the whole thing went so well. Also I like to say the word “hypothesize.”
by Eric
June 6th, 2008
8:53 am
That second picture of Zoey looking in the store looks like it was taken on Balboa Island. That makes me think of Cinnamon Roll Fair, a bakery on said Island. They make the most delicious cinnamon rolls around…you’ve got to try one next time you’re there. Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.
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