HIPPO BRIGADE

Meaty Ass Fat

I’m 38 weeks pregnant.

And my ass couldn’t look any fatter.

Oh, my mom even said so. Yeah, while we were walking through the mall, she’s all, “Whoa, Beckey, you finally have some meat on your butt.” or something grotesque like that.

And then I turned around all frantic, like people do when you tell them that have something on their backside. And I was like, “WHAT? Where!? Oh, sick get it off? What kind of meat is it? Is it the pork loin I had for a mid-afternoon snack, or is it a piece of that corn dog I ate for breakfast?”

And she was like, “No, You don’t actually have any meat products on your butt, I was just saying you had a fat ass.”

Ahhh, that’s a relief.

Thanks mom.