Me: Alright Berlyn, are you ready for your interview?
Berlyn: What’s an interview?
Me: I’m just going to ask you a bunch of questions.
Me: Because I think you’re interesting.
B: Oh, okay.
Me: What’s your favorite thing to wear?
B: Sparkle heart dress.
B: Because it’s sparkly, and I like sparkles.
Me: What do you think is beyond the stars?
B: The moon, and the planets, and I don’t know.
Me: Do you remember your dreams?
B: I don’t dream anymore.
What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever seen?
B: If we went to a butterfly garden and there is butterflies everywhere.
Me: What about when we went to the Redwood Forest?
B: It wasn’t very beautiful.
Me: *Blink, blink*
Me: *Squinty eyes*
Me: What is the grossest thing you can think of?
B: Worms! Worms in trash can.
Me: That’s pretty nasty.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
B: A mommy and adopt babies.
Me: How many babies do you want to have.
Me: Why three?
B: I have to find someone who has three babies that they don’t want anymore and adopt them.
Me: Okaaay, you still didn’t answer my question, but whatves, what would you do if you were invisible for a day?
B: Go on rides at Disneyland
Me: Do you think any of our neighbors are scary?
Me: None of them, not even that creeper on the corner?
Me: Okay, well, you just stay away from them as a precaution. You got that. Even if they say they have a bounce house and cheese crackers in their backyard.
Me: If you could change your name, would would you change it to?
B: My brother’s name. Because I like that name. I would be called Hudson.
Me: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: What’s in Hawaii?
B: Ocean and sand and beautiful girls dancing.
Me: And lastly, because it’s President’s Day, who is our President?
B: I don’t know.
Me: Think about it. Barack…?
B: Barack Burama