It’s Inauguration day. That’s a tricky word to spell: In-aug-u-ration. Remember in school when you’d clap each syllable? That was fun. It made talking extra exciting.
So, anyways, I don’t have any plans… because a certain someone whose name rhymes with ‘pajama’ forgot to send my invitation. ugh. I’m not bitter, but it’s just that I got my gown dry cleaned and dammit, I’m planning on wearing it. So I need something fabulous to do today.
First I’m going to watch this:
and pledge to only flush after a deuce, never a single.
and then I’m going to tattoo Barack’s face on my back.
And then I’m going to make a hat out of solar panels, so that I can harvest enough of the sun’s energy to sew a purse out of hemp and dandelion leaves, to go with my kicky red, white, and blue jumper.
And I’m doing all while in my fancy ball gown.