the Hippo Brigade

Get out of my house!

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December 17, 2008

We have an ant problem. First they were living outside, and that was fine. Well, kinda fine, as long as you didn’t mind opening the ant infested latch on our gate when you came over, which would involuntarily make you do the itchy, creepy-crawlie dance at my front porch, which would force me to mock and laugh at you, but then you’d point out that you just burned 68 calories, and say, ‘who’s laughing now, bitch?’ And I’d shrug, and let you in.

But, back to the ants; we didn’t bother them too much, and they didn’t bother us…until now.
It’s been raining, and apparently ants need to grow a pair because they don’t like being wet. And they’re all coming through the front door, and scavenging all of our crumbs. Now I have to vacuum, and clean stuff, and these ants better leave soon, because I don’t want to do more chores than I have to.