Five years of Zoey

Today Zoey is 5.


Okay, whatever, I’m not one of those freaky people who celebrate their dog’s birthday with a party and a cupcake, and then let their dog get all strung out on fruit punch, and they end up humping the neighborhood cat because she’s easy, and then 4 months later (I don’t know how long cats gestate, sheesh), congratulations you are now the proud owner of 6 pug/cats! But wait, my dog is a girl, and she’s spayed. It’s not possible. Turns out it is possible and we can blame it all on the fruit punch.

Damn punch.

Anyways, I’m not one of those people. But for some reason I have to celebrate her in a special way, because I love her and can’t envision my life with out her, even though she’s stinky, stainy, itchy, and licky, and eats my underwear, which is totally disgusting, but you know what? She doesn’t eat my husband’s underwear, and I think it’s her way of telling me she loves me the most.

We took her to the dog park yesterday to, you know, show her a good time. But all she did was look at other dogs and sit by our feet. Sometimes she can be such a turd.

So in honor of Zo-Zo, I will give her a bath today, I won’t call her a fat whore, and I’ll try to scratch all her itchy spots.





Happy Birthday Zoey, you’re one hot pug.

6 thoughts on “Five years of Zoey

  1. I love animal birthdays, provided they are celebrated tastefully.

    My password at work is my cat’s name and her birthday (Tyler21, in case you want access to my time keeper)

    Also, my dog used to eat my underwear. It was gross, but I find it wildly hilarious that I had a dog who’s mission in life was to eat the crotches out of my panties. The dirtier the better.


  2. “Five more years! Five more years!” Awww, happy birthday, Zoey.

    I hate to bust out as a grammar nazi, but in the sentence where you say “…even though she’s stinky, stainy, itchy, and licky, and eats my underwear, which is totally disgusting,…” do you mean that Zoey’s eating of your underwears is totally disgusting, or that your underwear is totally disgusting? I guess I’d still be your friend either way. I guess.

  3. awwh man! That’s so embarrising. That’s why you’re the lawyer lady who gets paid the big bucks. Thanks for being the grammer nazi. Would you believe I majored in English, but never took a grammar class, I guess they just expected me to know this stuff. Maybe I should take one of your classes.

  4. Your dog is adorable! I also love the pic with Zoey and Berlyn. They are both like “Ack…do we have to take a pic? Okay, fine. But we aren’t going to pretend to be happy about it.” Haha.

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