Today Zoey is 5.
Okay, whatever, I’m not one of those freaky people who celebrate their dog’s birthday with a party and a cupcake, and then let their dog get all strung out on fruit punch, and they end up humping the neighborhood cat because she’s easy, and then 4 months later (I don’t know how long cats gestate, sheesh), congratulations you are now the proud owner of 6 pug/cats! But wait, my dog is a girl, and she’s spayed. It’s not possible. Turns out it is possible and we can blame it all on the fruit punch.
Anyways, I’m not one of those people. But for some reason I have to celebrate her in a special way, because I love her and can’t envision my life with out her, even though she’s stinky, stainy, itchy, and licky, and eats my underwear, which is totally disgusting, but you know what? She doesn’t eat my husband’s underwear, and I think it’s her way of telling me she loves me the most.
We took her to the dog park yesterday to, you know, show her a good time. But all she did was look at other dogs and sit by our feet. Sometimes she can be such a turd.
So in honor of Zo-Zo, I will give her a bath today, I won’t call her a fat whore, and I’ll try to scratch all her itchy spots.
Happy Birthday Zoey, you’re one hot pug.