Enie Meeny Miney Mo
April 14, 2008How do families decide how many kids to bring into this world? You know what would be easier then deciding? If one day you opened your mailbox and found an especially official letter among the stacks of mattress ads. It would be the type of letter that you opened even before you got back into your home, because you were so intrigued with it. And inside it had a number. That’s all, just a printed number. 3. “Oh, honey we got our child quota today, I guess we can start trying.” BOOM, done, easy.
You know what is not easy? Trying to figure out if one is enough. I spent all weekend envisioning myself, our lives, and our family as just the three of us. And then I tried to envision adding more babies, and it made me a little swirly in the head. The hard part is, is that when I look ahead at my life in 10 years, I think of having 2 or 3 kids, but when I really see our lives now, and how it’s playing out right in front of me, I think, us and Berlyn is perfection. But there are so many pros and cons to this, almost to the point where I am split right down the middle. Thankfully I don’t have to worry about this too much, because I still have plenty of time to have more babies if we decided that is what we want. But wait– I don’t have that much time, because my eggs get older with each passing day. OH GOD, I don’t want to make a baby with old eggs! I wouldn’t even bake a cake with old eggs! I don’t have much time at all. When my mom was my age, she had two babies, ages 3 and 4 and was working on divorcing my father (the divorcing part is irrelevant to my point, but I just wanted to give you a little more background into my life). Crap. Maybe I should just get pregnant today, and say the hell with it.
8 Comments
such a hard question…I feel yr pain. Hey- you make cute babies – I vote go for it.
I liked this post a lot. I sk-rt’d this post. “)
Jamye
4/14/08
2:54 pm
please have more babies!!! 
(maybe not now-but someday!)
Why not throw caution to the wind and let God decide? Check out Jenny’s site, she just had her 12th! child.
http://beautifulheritage.wordpress.com/
Raeann
4/14/08
8:41 pm
I think siblings are a blessing in regards to lifetime companionship, and a a very important balancing factor for a growing child. Also, it’s nice to insure the “grandchild investment” in case your one-and-only decides not to have kids at all!
It’s hard to decide… it feels like such a disruption to the life of your child and I think there is always the worry that you won’t love the new child as much… it’s hard to imagine having that intense, all consuming love for another little person! But, you know, my kids are such good friends and their common experience as growing up our children makes for a support system to take them into their adulthood… seeing them together and them having each other to play and hang out with… it’s a great joy.
lisa dawson
4/16/08
8:28 am
WARNING! LONG, RAMBLING, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! I rarely ever comment…..ok. here’s my 2 cents worth of …whatever. For me, once I decided to jump into the parenthood pool, I knew I would have more than one – and not too far apart age-wise – based on my experience as a sibling. I’m the much youngest sister (10-16 yr. gap) in a group of 5 sibs. so I kind of grew up like an only child, except on holidays and the occasional family event/vacation. I was always envious of their shared stories and comradeship, and they always thought I was spoiled. grass is always greener…..I guess. Anyway! It was the process of my mom’s death (lung cancer) that brought us all together I think. As terrible as that ordeal was (my dad had died several years previous), I couldn’t imagine going through something like it alone. We all pitched in, rotating shifts, talked, laughed & cried a lot. We grew up and are happy and functional and get along great now. We’re spread about the country, but talk & text and get together often. So that decided it for me. I know that as a parent I will only be around for so long…. and I wanted to give my children someone that would be there for them as they grew old. Not that there are any guarantees….the way they’re fighting lately, about petty crap…good luck! But then one will stun me with an incredible selfless gesture to the other, and I am hopeful! There are days when I wish I had stuck with one…..it would be SO easy. Think of all the time and attention I would have to focus on all of the details……Alas, I do love my three little nuts! What I wouldn’t give for a few minutes of peace and quite……but I’ll get that later! so, as for advice….I say listen to yourself….trust yourself….you know what’s right/best for you and your family. have fun. (gosh, I hope this wasn’t too…weird, personal, dark, uninvited!)
Karen
4/21/08
6:02 am
I’ve heard it said that you might regret having only one but you’ll never regret having the second (or third, or ….)
g8grl
4/21/08
11:13 am
I had two because I am an older single mom and all the cousins of my kids are much older. I wanted them to have family. It’s been wonderful. There is nothing better than watching my daughter make faces to get her younger brother to laugh. When they laugh and giggle together, it lightens your heart and lengthens your lifespan. Just my opinion but if you’re enjoying one, you’ll probably have a blast with two.
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