August 11, 2008
I’ve been writing my blog for a year on August 22!! Yeah me! And to celebrate this momentous occasion I have decided to highlight my favorite posts (one daily for a week) for all you to read and enjoy all over again. It’s going to be so much fun!
Then I got to thinking, with the help of this person, that perhaps I should let you guys choose your favorite! So peruse my archives and tell me what your favorite post was by leaving a comment or emailing me!
Here’s number 5:
Zoey and I were on a walk this morning. Pat was in the shower and Berlyn was busy with her mid-morning nap.
So there we were, my pug and I, trotting along. I was unashamedly wearing bright pink plaid pajama bottoms and my face-washing headband while holding a bag of poo. And I couldn’t help notice that there was a hawk over head that wasfollowing us. Are there even hawks in Southern California? Whatever it was, it was a big-ass bird.
My mind wandered to a dark place, and I thought about what I would do if it decided to eat Zoey. I don’t blame the bird for wanting to eat my dog. Pat and I have had several conversations about which piece of Zoey we would eat in a crisis. I would choose the hind legs. She has meaty legs.
So, hypothetically, if the hawk swooped down and starting pecking at my sweet dog, my guess is, I would probably punch the bird in the face. I’m doing my tae-bo almost every day, and I’m getting really good at the right-hook and upper-cut. While the bird is disoriented, I would throw the bag of poo at him, and then duck into a bush until it flew away; either a bush or a moving car. But car would have to be nice, not like a Suzuki Sidekick or a Kia Rio. I would not get in a Kia Rio, I don’t care what type of danger I was in. No Kia Rio!
This is all in my mind, of course. The reality is, Zoey and I have absolutely zero survival skills. So what would really happen is, I would run in the opposite direction, and let the hawk feast on my dog’s meaty hind legs.