And somehow, it’s working


June 11, 2012

Lately, oh sweet lately, this amazing thing has happened with my children.

They play together… for hours.

Sure, they’ve played together before. They play the cherished game of Who Had it First, and let’s not forget their personal favorite, Stop Copying Me! And that usually ends in screams and tears, and OH MY GOSH, IS THERE BLOOD? IS ANYONE’S BRAINS LEAKING OUT ON MY CARPET, THEY BETTER NOT BE BECAUSE I JUST HAD THEM CLEANED!? No, no blood, all brain fluids are intact, but I had it first, mommy!

But now, there’s been a sea change, a click, a small motion towards friendliness, a gesture in kindness, and a realization that the other one isn’t the enemy. They truly are each other’s best friend.

I was always worried that having three years in between them would be doing them a disservice. That they would grow apart, not together, but they don’t really have the option, and they don’t know any different. And when this baby comes, it will be nearly three years younger than Hudson, and close to six years younger than Berlyn, but I know that somehow they will all still chase bubbles, play in cardboard boxes, sing and dance, and fiercely love each other, because they don’t really have the option.

Because siblings are forever.






Hudson’s bright eyes dazzle when we pick up Berlyn from school.

And Berlyn can’t contain herself when she hears that Hudson is awake from his nap.

Now, I know this isn’t permanent. I know that I’ll turn around and in an instant, Hudson will be biting the fleshy part of Berlyn’s arm, or Berlyn will be trying to feed Hudson dog food. But for now things are civil, and I’d like to stay in this perfect land of daffodils and rainbow icing.┬áBecause it feels right.

In our home saying, “I love you” isn’t an option. Neither is saying, “I’m sorry,” and “I forgive you.”

We practice selflessness, and respect, and being grateful.

And somehow, by the grace of God, it’s all working.



My brother and I are 5 yrs apart. I remember when I was in elementary school walking home at the end of the day, up my street that had a slight hill to it, hearing the sound of plastic on pavement. and it was my little brother soooooo happy to see me home, coming towards me on his big wheel, meeting me as i walked up the sidewalk to ride next to me til we got home. My mom would tell me that every day he would count down til I got home. and then he’d ask me about school and we’d play til dinner. So 6 yrs won’t be so much different. But it does suck that is changes you know?

by Kristin A. on June 11, 2012

My two are almost 5 years apart, and one of the best parts of having two kids has been watching their relationship develop. They rarely fight, they hang out together happily, they make each other laugh, they compliment each other on accomplishments, they cooperate during negotiations. They seem to genuinely love one another. It helps, I think, that one is a girl and one is a boy, and that they are temperamentally very different (which is to say, thank god the younger one is soooooo laid back).

by d gm on June 11, 2012

I bought a baby doll for Alex with a blue ribbon around its blanket for her baby brother. The first thing she said after seeing him for the first time at almost three was “that boys gotta big head”! 19 years later we still say it even though he has definitely grown into it. They are best friends to this day and I do not see it changing. In fact, it continues to grow stronger now that they are depending on themselves more and more. Sure they complain and have their arguments as we all do but they truely love each other.

I love reading your posts/blogs Beckey. You are blessed with talent and I love knowing what’s happening in your life and the sense of insane normalness you expose. Love your Cous!

by Maria on June 11, 2012

Leave a comment