So, there really ARE mountain lions in the hills behind our home.
And it turns out that my crazy neighbor is actually telling the truth.
Trusted people that I know have seen this lion with their own two eyes. And there was even a fleet of helicopters here last week trying to capture the animal.
Well, they failed.
Which means if I ever want to leave my house again, I’ll have to come up with a line of defense to protect myself and my babies.
I’ll need a blow torch, because animals are afraid of fire.
A mask, in case it malls my face.
A rape whistle, to call for help
A tranquilizer gun
And a bullet proof vest, incase I accidentally drop my tranquilizer gun, and the lion tries to use it on me.
A piece of chicken fat so I can throw it and then run in the opposite direction.
And some really fast shoes.
That should do it.
Anyone wanna go on a walk with me?