March 9, 2011
We’ve been married for 6 years.
The first year we played house.
I failed at my many awkward jobs. Like being a office manager, which mainly meant on the second day of work, I was to clean out the company kitchen. Oh you can imagine all the Hot Pocket explosions that were shellacked to the insides of that tiny, cheap microwave. But instead of steel wool and industrial cleaner, I was armed with a Bic pen and and a coffee soaked sponge that looked like it had been around since before the invention of the Lean Pocket. I would dutifully clean the office crap every day, and run deposits to the bank, and secretly go to the mall. What? I needed a little retail therapy after the death-in-the-form-of-moldy-tabouli-and-taco-meat I was exposed to in the community refrigerator. I remember coming home, turning the key in the lock and thinking, Wow. I’m finally a grown up.
I was 24.
Our first year of marriage we got a dog.
Her anus would later give us much grievance, but in the beginning it was love at first sight.
Exactly one month after our first anniversary, I found out I was pregnant. And instead of rejoicing, I remember repeating the words, “I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to.”
The “to” was of course in reference to becoming a mom.
I was in the midst of trying to navigate the waters of being a stellar wife, I was in the throws of trying to figure out how to be a sex goddess, and with the blink of an eye it all changed into maternity bras and hemorrhoid cream.
We wanted to travel, perhaps live abroad. If we knew that kids were so close on our horizon, perhaps we would have lived on a boat in the middle of the Indian Ocean, or vacationed in a nudist commune in Oklahoma, or taken that trip to Iceland.
Or perhaps not.
It’s frickin cold in Iceland.
But just like that it was different.
And in our second year of marriage Berlyn was born.
By the third things were starting to get better.
Fourth was average.
Fifth was fantastic.
We also just had Hudson, so that’s pretty awesome.
And now sixth.
Sixth we are happy.
We are in a good rhythm.
We are finally starting to face some of the bad habits we do and make serious efforts to stop them. We aren’t always fighting. We have more air to breathe. We communicate better. Our children make us work hard at our marriage, so much harder, but they are a blessing and a joy to us.
We fit togher.
It seems like the dust is settling and we are starting to figure things out.
He’s the coolest person in the whole world, and the only one that I never get sick of.
I love his heart, his devotion, his ability to provide for us, his goodness, and his never ceasing love for me and our children.
Happy 6th year of marriage.