6 Tips for getting your baby to stay up all night

5 Comments

January 14, 2013

night

 

 

So you want to party all night with your baby, huh?

Ever wondered with 3 A.M. looks like? Ever wonder what type of weird things your spouse does in his sleep? Ever wonder how much rest you really need? Well, never fear. I have some fail-safe recommendations for you to stay up all night with your baby!

  • Step 1) First order of business is get a baby. I have a two month old, but any ol’ baby will do. Just make sure yours doesn’t do silly things like sleep 8 hour stretches at night yet. Sleeping long stretches at night is for the birds.
  • Step 2) Keep your baby over stimulated and over tired in the early evening. This will ensure a fussy baby at bedtime. This is best done by having an older sibling sing to your baby, or show your baby every single toy they own, despite your baby’s best efforts to turn his head away and fuss. Your older sibling has no idea that that means “no more thank you.” And your older sibling also has no idea that this simple act is getting your baby primed and ready for a 2 hour scream session.
  • Step 3) At bed time make sure things are loud and chaotic. Again, your older siblings can help out with this step. Make sure they yell and run up and down the hallway with all the vim and vigor as a couple of overactive Pomeranians. Slamming into walls and doors while you’re trying to nurse your baby down to sleep is also helpful.
  • Step 4) Finally, you got your baby to enter a slightly restful state. It took you approximately three and a half hours of nursing, rocking, singing, and dancing in the dark. Just add a mirrored ball and a bubbly drink, and you’ve got yourself a disco-teque! But now that your baby’s asleep you are bored out of your mind and you’ve found yourself just waiting around for him to wake up. It’s probably around 11:00 P.M. and your spouse has just settled in for the night. He just doesn’t value staying up all night like you and your baby do.
  • Step 5) It’s 1:19 A.M. and your baby finally woke up! Oh goodie. Nurse and don’t bother burping your baby, this is an imperative step in ensuring that he will wake up with gas in about one hour’s time.
  • Step 6) 2:34 A.M. Your baby woke up screaming! Now listen carefully because this part is very important in keeping your baby awake and  being able to party all night with him: continue to feed your baby no matter what he really wants. Just keep offering him a boob. He’s gassy? Feed him. He’s too hot? Feed him. He has spit up on his neck fat and all down his onesie? Feed him. Is his swaddle is too tight? Feed him. You get the idea…
  • 4:47 A.M. Congratulations, you’re almost there. Just keep repeating Step 6 until it’s time for normal people to wake up.

7:22 A.M. You made it! It’s morning. And you’ve both managed to stay up all night. Bravo! Now you have some bragging rights, a few extra lines on your face, and the mental capacity of a underfed squirrel. Enjoy your day, and remember if you and your baby fall asleep and stay asleep at night, you’re just not trying hard enough.

5 Comments:

Oh I just want to give you a big hug right now. Rilyn and I were really good at this game too. We had it down to a science. Hoping you can get some rest soon. Maybe someone else can take Silas to the disco-teque tonight? (Hint, hint Pat) Or maybe I should bring you the “Windi”!

by Heather on January 14, 2013

Oh thats fine. You just described last night exactly over here at the Moen home! We looooove to stay up all night too! We should FaceTime at 4am.

by melinda on January 15, 2013

Although my baby is weeks younger than yours,we have already figured this out all by ourselves! We are so advanced for our age.

Why do we skip the burping? Why do we do that to ourselves?

Every day I wake up thinking that I’m only going to feed my baby if he is truly hungry. No matter of it’s noon or midnight. But then he makes a noise and I get him latched on.

Today I was going to be so so good at mypromise. Then I woke up with a clogged duct. So now I have to feed him at every peep.

You aren’t alone

by Lora on January 16, 2013

I love your writing! I have a 2 1/2 year old and a nine month old. My baby refuses to take a bottle or cup and therefore is chained to my boob! It’s exhausting to say the least when he still won’t sleep through the night. I think your blog is hilarious and look forward to reading more.

by Shanon on January 24, 2013

Your writing is hilarious….even though we know it is not funny at the time. We have been through it. Myself twice with the two sharing a room that drove me to the looney bin….well almost and Sara has experienced this 4 times. Hang in there. It passes at some point. Just remember you doing the best you can.

by Nicole Lindstrom on January 26, 2013

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