What I Wore Wednesday


This is the What I Wore Wednesday: Fever Edition.

With less style and more hot showers.

Less accessorizing and more antibiotics.

Less cute footwear and more alternating between being barefoot and wearing winter woolen socks.


Head: beanie

Shirt: OC Bloggers shirt I got at a blogger party.

Pants: Erin Fetherston for Target long john-type pj pants.


Okay, now I’m going back to bed.

Hippo Report

I take my coffee black in the morning. I like it dark, and then I sneak a spoonful of sugar into it, stir quietly and take loving sips from it until noon. But this morning I thought I’d be more healthful and pour a packet of Stevia into my coffee. It’s bitter and gives my tongue a metallic taste that dances with a buzzing feeling long after I’ve swallowed my drink. Not in a good way either. After each sip I keep telling myself the feeling that my mouth is full of nickels is something that will go away with time.

Maybe I just need to get used to it. Like when I started substituting almond milk for cow’s milk. Or when I started wearing thong underwear. These things take time.

photo 2

I finally feel like I’m emerging as a normal human being, because having a baby is also one of those things, like thong underwear and almond milk, that take time getting used to. He sleeps, oh thank you Jesus! He sleeps anywhere from 6-8 hour stretches at night, and it is my most favorite thing. Because I love sleep. Some may say I have an unhealthy relationship with sleep. In that when faced with any choice where sleep is an option, I will choose sleep every time.

photo 4

Watch Arrested Development re-runs or sleep?


Online shoe shopping or sleep?


Eat an entire sleeve of Thin Mints or sleep?


Enjoy the physical benefits of the marital bond or sleep?


Sorry Pat. I love sleep. And my baby knows this. High fiver Silas! ((Wham))


Speaking of sleep, I spent the bulk of the day in bed yesterday with a cold. Aside: the word “bulk” is gross. I don’t like it. I tried to get better, because I knew that I would not get many chances of spending my day in bed. I drank Emergen-C like it was my job, I did lymphatic yoga, and even took a detoxifying bath. And now, today, I’m still sick. And also my brain is fuzzy, and can someone remind me to pick up my daughter from school today? No, really. I’m afraid I’ll forget. Earlier, I started to get a glass of water and ended up doing laundry, and after that I sat on the floor while petting the dog for a half hour.

I have a plugged duct in my boob, because apparently when you get sick and you’re nursing you get plugged ducts too! Which if you’ve never had the joy of experience a plugged duct, it’s like a tiny yard gnome is secretly pinching the fatty underside of your boob all day with his cement hands. All while laughing menacingly and taking photos of it to showing all his gnome friends. Rude. And if it doesn’t go away quickly, it can turn into a full blown infection, which is like the flu, with a fever and chills and body aches and just no thank you to that.

But I’m totally not complaining. Promise. It’s just sharing. I’m sharing all the crazy crap that’s going on right now, because this is a safe place, and maybe it will cause you to tell a much worse story about yourself, so I don’t feel as bad. Please. Share.

I’m on my second cup of this stevia coffee, and I think I’m going to have to abandon my efforts and throw some white refined sugar in there. Unless you can suggest something better. I did raw sugar for a long time, but I just always forget to buy some. Maybe I’ll do that.

My husband had a vasectomy the other day. He recovered on the couch this weekend, while we got used to the idea that our family is perfectly complete. It’s a weird realization to know that we are really done reproducing tiny humans, especially since we make such awesome babies.

photo 1

And to be honest, I have no remorse about the decision. I am very excited about looking forward to the next chapter in our lives. We’ve shut the door to any more pregnancies, I can get rid of all this baby gear as soon as Silas doesn’t need it any more. There’s something so freeing about the idea of selling my Boppy and Baby Bjorn on Craig’s List. I’m sure it was a bit easier for us to come to this permeant conclusion because of how Silas was born, and if I get pregnant again it will be very dangerous, and I’d have to be highly monitored and have a c-section at 37 weeks, and I’m just not down with that, plus the FEAR of what happened with Silas is too strong for me to even want to roll that dice, PLUS, we have three kids!

photo 3

*Not all children shown.

That’s kind of a lot.

And that’s what is going on with me right now.

What I Wore Wednesday


And welcome to my second What I wore Wednesday.

I had to steal my phone back from Hudson. He was deep in a game of Angry Birds.

Important stuff.




Today I’m wearing my schoolmarm look.

Brown silk button down and sleeveless long sweater both from Ever.

Skirt that is pulled all the way up to my bra because it’s so long, and also because it’s cozy that way, from Nordstrom.

Favorite boots in the entire world from Zara.

Be Mine

It’s Valentine’s Day, and I would like to celebrate it with homemade whoopie pies, and custom grapefruit martinis, but instead of all that, my night will probably include clipping dirty fingernails, steam cleaning my rug (which is not a euphemism), and brushing the dog (also not a euphemism).

So instead of focusing on those unglamorous things I will actually be doing, I thought it would be better to post pictures of pretty things.









(Berlyn’s Valentine card)


(Silas being cute)

Oh, and Hudson says “hi” (not pictured).

Happy Valentine’s Day.



What I Wore Wednesday

It’s fun to get dressed in the morning.

Okay, fine, it’s fun to stay in your yoga pants all day because they are the only things that fit right now, and  your hips are still as wide as an elephant’s collar bone, and you swear you’ll do yoga in your pants… later, but really, who has the time??

But in an effort to get dressed each morning, I thought I’d participate in “what I wore wednesday.”

So here’s what I’m wearing today:



Blousy blue shirt: Ever

Cropped sweater: Tracy Reese

Leggings: Nordstrom

Boots: Kohl’s

Okay, yes, I said Kohl’s. It’s a crazy store where I get hot and panicky every time I’m there, but a friend of mine told me about these fringed boots they have there, and they were only 20 bucks! So I put on my brave face, and bought them. I also brought my mom, who is like a Kohl’s ninja, and has one million Kohl’s coupons in her purse.

Aside: Right after I left the house wearing my cute necklace, I broke it. Proving further that I’m not cut out for jewelry.

Another aside: leggings are just like yoga pants, only more cute.






There isn’t this stillness in my day anymore where I can sit uninterrupted at the dining room table with a cup of warm coffee and write on my blog. Instead I sit for 10 minutes, and come up with a few disconnected sentences, thoughts about this or that.

Instead I have fragments.

And that’s fine, I don’t always have to post things to my blog, I’m allowed to have a break every once in a while, except I don’t want to have a break. I want to share, I want to do it. I want to have a moment to myself, with just my thoughts, and the clacking of my fingernails on my keyboard. My fingernails that have be long ignored and are all growing at different lengths. The reality is I don’t get time to myself. I get 6 minutes here and 17 minutes there and that’s it. Because that’s what I get when I signed up for being a mom. My days are hurried and chaotic, my body is tight and twisted, my leg hairs rival my husband’s, and my face tells the story of tiredness. It feels like I’m being pulled and stretched. I’m growing. The level of what I’m able to do is increasing.

But honestly,

I crave being without distraction.

I long to have a feeling of freedom.

Just for a little bit.

But for now I am tethered to my children. I am held captive to their needs. Their needs are strong and they pull me from the warmth of my bed. They pull me from a quiet moment of relaxation. They pull me from my own needs.

I know one day my children will grow up and leave our house and all these sharp poignant moments that destroy my energy and test my patience will be replaced with smooth moments and I will miss being constantly needed.

But I’ll be in Fiji so I don’t really think I’ll notice.



Berlyn is SIX

It happened.

I blinked my eyes and it happened.

You grew up.



You are growing tall, and sure. Your teeth are wiggly, and your pencil makes bold lines on the paper. Lines that draw spaceships, and train tracks, and princess dresses, and eyeballs. You love to draw eyeballs. Because eyes are our windows, and somehow you understand that. Without ever talking about it, you get that. The eyes you draw are big, and open, and wide. Just like you.


Your legs are long and you walk without complaint. Everyday I pick you up from school and you effortlessly walk home with me, talking about boys and girls, art projects, and numbers.

You recently told me you like a boy in your class, immediately my heart said not cool.

But my mouth casually said, “oh, really…?” As I tried to seem unaffected by this news.


“Yes, I chase him. He’s silly.”

“That’s good,” I said. “Because it’s important to be with someone that makes you laugh.”

But I’m not ready for this business of crushes and love. I need time to figure out what I’m supposed to say, read a book and ask friends what they did. Because I don’t trust my instinct.

“I want to marry him.” You told me.

“Well, you better make sure he has a steady job and doesn’t still live with his parents. What does he do? Is he in finance? Construction? Computer programming?”

“I don’t know what you just said, mommy. He’s in kindergarden.”

“Well, you’d better wait to get married then.”

“Okay, I will.”


You’re so smart. I know I say this all the time, but I want you to know it. I want you to own and trust your intelligence. You’re smart, not because you do so well in school, although that’s a by-product, but it’s because you want to know more, you crave knowledge, you ask questions and you are unsatisfied with mediocre. Stay this way.


I hold you to a high standard, not because I want to make things hard on you, but because I want you to never settle.


I want you to be bold and mighty.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength

of His might. Ephesians 6:10

I want you to find joy in all things. Yes, all things can be joyful. If you can find the joy in life, then your life will be meaningful and outstanding.

They will find gladness and joy,
And sorrow and sighing will flee away. Isaiah 35:10


Things might happen to your fragile soul as you tread deeper into your years, but remember to always keep your joy, your innocence, and be courageous.

I want you to be confident. Because that is where true beauty is.

Your adornment must not be merely external-braiding the hair,

and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;

but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality

of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 1 Peter 3:3-4

At the American Museum of Natural History

I want you to make mistakes.

And then learn from them.

I want you to always seek truth and listen to that voice in your head. That voice in your head is my voice, and as you grow it will become your own. Listen to it. Especially when you become a teenager and it’s past midnight. And let me be the first to tell you Missy, nothing good happens after midnight. I remember when I was in high school and out past midnight, I would end up crying, kissing a boy, or binge eating burritos from Del Taco, and most times it was a combination of all three.

I want you to shake things up.

I want you to be passionate.

And make a mark; on people’s hearts, on the world.


I want those around you to adore you and cherish you as I do, because you are irresistible.

I want you to be you, and to be the best possible you.


I want all these things for you because you are my beloved, my reward.

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3


Happy sixth birthday Berlyn.

I love you.