July 31, 2012
Sorry I haven’t been around in a while, I’ve been very, very busy.
Doing secret stuff.
That I will reveal at a later date.
Just kidding, that’s a lie.
There’s nothing secret happening in my life, unless you count the time that I ate the rest of the muy gigante bag of (insert junk food here), and replaced the bag by eating half of that too, and then not telling my husband, so he wouldn’t get mad at me and my diabetic coma state of slurred speech and blurred vision, and inability to move from the couch.
Errget Mah Fignets!
I don’t understand you, therefore I’m ignoring you.
But I think he was on to me.
The truth of the matter is. I’ve been busy with my needlepoint.
I wish I was joking on that one, but I’m not. Yes, it’s true, I am indeed a 85-year-old woman, and damn proud of it.
I’ll show you more photos when it’s all done, because I know you’re just dying to see it.
You see, it’s the perfect craft. I can do it anywhere, it requires small amounts of brain activity, and it keeps my freakishly tiny and babyish hands busy, so I’m not munching mindlessly on bags of Famous Amos cookies, or instagraming more photos of my dog. Everybody wins.
My plan is to make it into a pillow, my plan is to have it look like I spent $150,00 at Jonathan Adler to acquire it, and my plan is to not botch the whole thing up, I’m 90% of the way done with it, and I haven’t made any huge mistakes, so I might just be successful in not being a screw up. I don’t think anyone is going to be convinced that I bought it at JA, because uh-ma-gah, have you seen their pillows??
But it’s a victory for me nonetheless.
Before I picked it off the shelf of Amazon.com, I knew nothing about needlepoint, I learned all the stitches from YouTube and hallelujah, I did them, correctly, and I’ve almost convinced myself that I’m awesome.
Except, then I remember that time when I tried to learn how to knit.
Knitting is dumb.