Sleep. That’s all I want to do. But at all the wrong times. I’m like when you were a teenager and you kept falling asleep in your icy algebra class, while everyone else is happily doing quadratic equations. Well, of course you fell asleep, equations are for losers. But then you stayed up all night drinking mystery fluid out of a plastic red cup (tisk, tisk, and no wonder why you’re sleepy!) and later you pass out on someone’s grandma’s couch. Only to wake up with an imprint of an embroidered flower on your cheek.
But with me there’s no mystery fluid, no algebra class, and the embroidered flower imprint is on my forehead.
True story: I almost fell asleep driving home one afternoon. I was coming home from something and I was some place, and some other people were involved. I can’t be bothered with details, but the important facts to know in this story are, I was driving, it was 2:16 in the middle of the day, my children were in the car, and I was sleepily fighting off the urge to drop my head into my chest on the freeway. Um, scary. And now that I think about it, it could have something to do with me listening to Ryan Adams croon his silky lullabies in the car, while I was watching a plastic bag drift listlessly in and out of traffic lanes.
Well whatever it was, a valley girl would have this say about it, um, like freak-kay.
Thankfully we made it home safely and no one died in a flamey car accident of death and destruction.
The reason why I’m super tired is not because I’m staying up late doing awesome things like learning Mandarin or baking a ton of delicious snackable treats (although I should…), it’s not because I have this weird disease, or a pack of worms living in my digestion track that suck the life force from my bowels, and it’s not because I don’t eat enough protein like my mom’s always saying to me, and that’s why I look tired all the time, and would I just eat a steak already?!
It’s because I’m pregnant.
There. I said it. We’re having a baby.
Correction, we’re having another baby. Because we already have TWO crazy kids…
And now we’ll have another one.
It’s like boom, bang, bing.
And I’m like oookkayy…?
But really I’m like squeeee!!
Because I literally love everything about a squishy puffy baby.
I love to walk around everywhere and have new baby in a sling and swat adoring hands away as if I have some delectable prize hidden in my pouch and everyone wants just one sweet taste.
I love to rock, and sing, and breastfeed.
OH MY GOSH, you guys I LOVE to breastfeed!
I’m going to breastfeed the shit out of this new baby.
You watch. Actually, please don’t watch, because you know, you might get an eye full.
So all in all, I think we’re going to be alright.
It wasn’t planned. And my thinking is that these things never are. It’s God’s perfect plan, and I’m just along for the ride.
We are excited, scared, and super chill about it, all at the same time.
And I had an ultrasound last week and I saw it. He? She? Baby. The important thing was there was one in there, and it waved at me. Well, no it didn’t. But I got to see it’s precious little heart beating, pumping and thriving. I was a ball of nerves, but after the images flickered on the screen, all I felt was peace and joy.
I know this photo doesn’t look like much it’s all blurry and blobby…but hey, it kinda looks like an Yosemite Sam mustache.
Well great horney toads, we’re having another baby!