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How cool that you have such a great babysitter at your finger tips. I can’t believe how much money people find in their couches and cars. I think I’ll go into the business of cleaning peoples’ couches and cars. I know I could find a tank full of gas money in Kim’s van. I’m gonna make it a project when I go out there.

by Grandma J on April 30, 2008

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Something Smells…


April 30, 2008

Smells I love:

my baby’s head
brand new stuff– especially shoes and furniture
sautéed onions
Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil
hot buttered rum candle from Anthropologie
freshly ground coffee
my bed

Smells I hate:
maple syrup
Jenielle‘s ice maker
gruyere cheese
Zoey’s anal sac expulsions
darkroom photo chemicals
peoples’ bad breath

What about you guys? Do you have interesting smells you love/hate?


Oooh! I love ginger and garlic sauteeing in olive oil, Chanel’s “Cristalle,” and old books. And the smells of the beach, especially fire pits.

Cannot cannot cannot stand the smell of tar. And also, I used to work with a woman who had reeeeeally bad breath. She used to come into my office to tell me secrets so she’d close my door and it was un-bear-a-ble, especially when I was pregnant and overly sensitive to smell.

by dgm on April 30, 2008

I love the smell of cinnamon but I hate the taste. Unfortunately I cannot stand the smell of all perfumes.

by jenielle on April 30, 2008

Ribs, I love the smell of ribs cooking. Actually, any pork I guess because there is nothing like the smell of bacon in the morning.

by Grandma J on April 30, 2008

gardenias at the front door, the smell of clean clothes, fresh sheets, cut crass, & the Ocean!!! My Husbands pillow & his skin after he comes home from a surf. Fresh squeezed oranges, lemons & basil. Okay Okay, I will stop right there. ahhhhh

by Dianne on April 30, 2008

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Please Tell Me This Is A Joke…


April 29, 2008


This sign is up all over my neighborhood.

The cold truth is little Billy, if I find your snake while I’m out walking my dog and baby, I will either throw my shoe at it, while keeping my eyes firmly shut, or run home as fast as I can and lock the door, because snakes are smart, and can probably work a door knob.


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April 29, 2008

There’s this website that takes the photos of the mother, father, and baby, and then tells you who your baby more closely resembles.

Before I reveal the outcome of the results, I must tell you that I am naturally a very competitive person. I enjoy feeling triumphant and victorious, and the thought that I am more superior in all ways occasionally finds its way into my mind. Needless to say, there was a lot riding on the results.

So, I submitted this picture of Pat and me:


and this picture of Berlyn:


The website did this neat-o scanning thing, and I felt like I was uploading Top Secret documents for the FBI.

The results were: (Drum roll please.) Berlyn looks 13% more like HER FATHER!!

So, if you want to make my day, casually let me know that Berlyn has my tenacity, passion, or amazing fashion sense.


Yes! I win!

by pat on April 29, 2008

Berlyn is way to pretty to look 87% daddy. She’s a little sweetheart.

by Grandma J on April 29, 2008

I did this too, how funny! Found it on Natalie’s blog. Turns out Van is 50 me and 50 my husband??? hmmm He looks exactly like my husband, but I will keep thinking this little website is correct with their cool technology software stuff!

by Dianne on April 29, 2008

I totally want to try it, but, it kinda reminds me of this photo machine at Dave and Busters. When we were dating or married, or something before kids…we went and had our picture taken…the machine scans my face, then my husbands, then it prints a picture of an what our child will look like. I carried that kids picture around forever….and our real kids look nothing like “her”.

by heart shaped hedges on April 30, 2008

I dunno… she looks pretty much like you, IMO. Which is stunning, btw.

by Tootsie Farklepants on May 1, 2008

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The best part of waking up


April 28, 2008

They say (and by they I mean the folks at Folgers), say that the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup…I beg to differ.

This morning I sauntered downstairs with just enough prowess to avoid the giant pink car positioned right at shin-mega-hurt height. I rubbed the sleep and the tiny specks of day-old mascara out of my eyes, and peered into the empty coffee canister. I flipped the metal jar upside down and watched only wisps of tasty coffee grounds fall to the counter.


Oh no! This is bad. We’re out of coffee! I thought to myself, don’t panic, there are worse things going on in the world, and a day without coffee is totally do-able. Although it’s something I don’t feel comfortable doing.
I am vaguely resourceful and somewhat of a problem solver, so I threw open cupboards and knocked over boxes of crackers and cans of soup with my clumsy, uncaffeinated hands, in search of some coffee we might have stashed for such desperate occasions. Instead, I found decaf coffee, tea, and Folgers instant coffee crystals I bought for a cookie recipe. Decaf is shit, and I might as well have a cup of water, warm it up and add brown food dye. Tea is for old people and wussies, so I was stuck with the Folgers by process of elimination.


I thought, how bad can it be? It’s coffee, and coffee is always good. So I set my electric water kettle on boil and added a heaping scoop of instant coffee crystals to my cup. I added the water, a dash of hopeful expectations, and stirred vigorously. When the water had cooled off enough, I took a hearty swig, and spit it right back into the cup. UGH! It was burnt, dry, and tasted like a dusting of toenails had been added without my approval. All things I try to avoid in a cup of coffee.

Because I was still missing my caffeine buzz, I had to drink something, so I brewed some tea. While it was both sweet and mild, I still wasn’t satisfied. And sadly I was out of options.


After sucking out yesterday’s coffee filter and licking the empty canister, I realized that I have a problem. I heard the front gate open, and I knew my husband was home from his coffee shop meeting. I eagerly greeted him with an overly gratuitous kiss just to get the taste of more coffee, and realized that he was holding a cup of joe, all for me!!


Dreams do come true.



yeah- the caffiene is really a crucial part of this whole parenting thing 🙂

by amy on April 28, 2008

Hold that husband very very dear.

by BOSSY on April 29, 2008

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25 Things


April 24, 2008

So, I never got “tagged” to do a list about myself, but I never really wait for an invitation anyways, and I always love an opportunity to talk about myself…so please enjoy this list of 25 (actually it’s 26) things:

  • I am most productive in the morning although I wouldn’t consider myself a morning person
  • I don’t make weird faces when I put on mascara
  • I don’t know common things that I should know, like: my license plate number, the difference between jam and jelly, my husband’s phone number, and how to spell
  • I am frightfully self-aware. This is quite debilitating because I can’t be myself when I am constantly thinking how “myself” is appearing
  • I aspire to be more adventurous, creative, loving, and witty
  • I love eating and I love to cook and bake, but please don’t help. I completely fall apart when someone else is in the kitchen with me, and I become bossy and I’ll micro-manage you. I have control issues…
  • I am a sucker for good music. I love to just turn on my iPod and melt into a song. Some of my very favorite music is, old Jason Mraz stuff, David Gray, Rocky Votoloto, Cold War Kids, Bright Eyes, Radiohead, Bjork, and Rachel Yamagata.
  • I am severely selfish and I am working through that. Oh, and I’m a know-it-all, and that is soo annoying.
  • I love luxury handbags, it is a curse, but I am NOT working through that–that one stays


  • I love to write on my blog everyday. It is the most therapeutic thing I’ve ever done, because it forces me to be creative and unique…even if I’m only writing about cupcakes and my baby’s nap schedule
  • One day I want to write a book, and I want you all to read it!
  • I love going on walks, I can walk for hours and hours
  • I always want to order dessert when I go out to a restaurant, ALWAYS. If I don’t get dessert, I feel like my meal was incomplete.


  • I love talking one on one, this is when I feel conversation is most revealing, and honest. I’d rather be one on one than in a group setting. I love good conversation, and if there’s wine involved it makes everything better.
  • My husband is my number one fan, and he inspires me everyday.
  • I don’t like going to school every night, it tears me up to be away from my baby.
  • I love beautiful things–and I love to find beauty in the ordinary
  • One of my simple daily pleasures is sipping hot coffee in the morning while Berlyn is sleeping–if I don’t do that everyday, I don’t feel whole
  • I love people who are transparent, and I strive to be that way too. If you’re not, then I probably don’t hang out with you, it’s nothing personal, I just don’t like you.
  • I sing and dance everyday
  • I would never consider myself a picky eater, I eat just about anything. But the foods that I don’t like, I dislike with vehemency. Such as pickles, crab legs, and asparagus–ick!
  • One of my favorite people in the whole world, is my daughter. I love that I get to hang out with her, play with her, teach her, and watch her grow everyday of my life.


  • Being efficient makes my heart happy. I prefer to do more than one thing at a time.
  • I like to organize things (but you wouldn’t know it by looking at my house). When I was little, I used to dump all 92 of my Crayola Crayons and re-organize them every time I colored.
  • I love animals, and I wish I could put a manatee in my bath tub



I love it. Thank you for exposing yourself and sharing with us the stuff that makes you uniquely you.

I am glad we are friends, for most of this list I was like, “me too!”

by Jenielle Krusiewicz on April 24, 2008

You are hilarious. I agree completely that a meal is not complete without some sort of dessert present. And by dessert, I mean chocolate. Unless it’s white cake. Or white cake with chocolate frosting.

by kru clan on April 24, 2008

Inspiring. I could relate to a lot of these, especially being frightfully self-aware. It’s so not fun. It takes me a good amount of time to warm up to people and reveal my geeky side.

by Amanda on April 24, 2008

I found your blog through Kathy’s. You could totally be my best friend with a list like that! 🙂 T

by Terria B on April 25, 2008

Fun list~! Ironically, I love all the foods you hate. So just send them over to me. 🙂

by Marketing Mama on April 26, 2008

So on Friday nights from 5 to 9, the Long Beach Aquarium lets you go and touch the sharks and stingrays for free! Its pretty close to touching a manatee.

by melinda on May 3, 2008

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Mothers’ Day Gifts


April 23, 2008

Mothers’ Day is rapidly approaching, and this year I have decided against the gifts I usually give. Not that there is anything illicitly wrong with giving a picture of me in a frame dusted with glitter and sequins, but I have decided to be a bit more original, and practical. Because really, you can only have so many macaroni necklaces and hand-sculpted ashtrays.

While flipping through a series of online catalogs, I came across Miles Kimball. And I thought to myself, JACKPOT!!

Here are a few ideas that are in the running for a perfect Mother’s Day gift:

White yard geese that my mom can dress in a variety of ways, depending on her mood, or the seasons.

Rock-a-billy geese:


Christmas present geese:


Yard gnome geese:


Magnifying Makeup Specs:

No more squinting and straining to see if you’re applying your makeup accurately. Metal framed specs have hinged lenses that flip up and down. Have a clear, 3.0x magnified view with one eye, as you make up the other eye. In a satin pouch.


…and my personal favorite:

Super Kegel™ Exerciser

Regular exercise with the Super Kegel™ helps tone and strengthen pelvic floor muscles as it helps slim and tighten thighs, buttocks, and lower abdominal muscles. Steel exerciser has a padded vinyl cover. Includes a 9-page booklet and detailed exercise chart. Effective for men and women.


Happy Mothers’ Day Mom!


love it!

by amy on April 23, 2008

These are hilarious!! Thanks for sharing!

by kathy on April 23, 2008

LOL. If this was my first time visiting your blog, I’d be running the other way screaming ‘lunatic’. 🙂 I can’t believe there is a kegel exercise equipment.

by Marketing Mama on April 23, 2008

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Today is Earth Day!


April 22, 2008


I have decided to partake in the Earth’s special day by taking some easy steps to conserve water and energy:

  • I’m going to forgo a shower, and instead I’ll slather myself with eco-friendly hand sanitizer.
  • I will not run the dishwasher, washing machine or vacuum. Nope. I won’t. This is my commitment to the Earth. I’m taking this day seriously, and that means I have to make drastic sacrifices…
  • I will walk to the park with Berlyn. This one’s easy because I do it all the time, but to set today apart, I will be thinking about green stuff, like:

lima beans


this bag:


and the color of my eyes


  • I’ll consider bringing a plant into our home to help purify the air. I’ve heard bamboo does that, and it’s semi-cute. It’s just that I’m not really all that good with plants, which means I tend to kill them. I had a basil plant in the backyard, and after 2 and a half weeks of fresh basil and neglect, I killed it.
  • I’ll try to find and shop at a farmer’s market. The only problem with this is, there aren’t any nearby, so that means I have to drive out of my way. But I think it’s worth it.

What are you guys going to do? Here’s a website to give you helpful ideas.


OMG, I love your green ideas, and am inspired to also not shower or run the cleaning appliances…except, I havent quite figured how to make this day different from the other days..hmmmm.

We have a farmers market in Ladera on Sat. mornings….cheese, fruits, veggies, tamales, flowers, honey….you should come by…we can meet there with the kiddos.

by heart shaped hedges on April 22, 2008

I am taking a tip from you and am also not vacuuming or running the dishwasher… yea!

by Kristin on April 22, 2008

I, for one, should have stayed in bed all day and not used any resources.

by dgm on April 22, 2008

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I Dropped my iPhone


April 21, 2008

As enticing as it may seem, don’t drop your iPhone. The result will be an angry husband, a 250 dollar bill, and 10 business days without a phone.

If you need to get a hold of me, email me. And if you want to buy me expensive technological toys–don’t. I’ll just end up dropping them.


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This post is brought to you by: stacks of unfolded laundry, crusty dishes in the sink, make-up stains on the bathroom counter, Clorox Disinfectant, dust mites, and the loss of my sanity.

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April 18, 2008


I am a mother of a 14 month old, and I go to school at night, and I’m expected to keep a clean house?? What is that about? In between play dates, park and pool excursions, watching Bravo, and going on walks, I have lost sight of how messy my house has gotten. I am naturally a slob, and I work really hard not to let my husband know the full scope of my sloth-like nature. So actually when I throw my clothing on top of the dresser, instead of leaving it on the floor, I think that I am being neat. And when I soak the pan in water overnight, in my mind, it’s as good as clean.



I really want to pay someone to pick up my collection of bags (yes, there are three of my bags all on the kitchen table), scrub my toilets, and dust my baseboards, but Pat thinks that is a load of crap. So today, I’ll be cleaning. And I’ll be extra-surly–because it is hard to bleach your sink while trying to dissuade your daughter not stick the Windex nozzle up her nose.

1 Comment:

Hey, you should really see my house, and I don’t have a child.

by Katy on April 18, 2008

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