I Think My Mom is Wound a Little Too Tight

2 Comments

February 29, 2008

A conversation with my mother about Berlyn:

Mom: Beck! That milk is cold, you’re not going to heat it up for her? Oh! She’s drinking it so fast, Beck! It’s cold outside, heat her milk up. She’s going to get cold!! Beck…

Me: Mom, she’s fine.

My Mom: I don’t know…She’s drinking it so fast, is she going to get gas from drinking it that fast?? Oh! Beck! Her lips are turning blue! Rebecca! Get her a jacket her lips are BLUE!!

Me: Mom, she’s fine.

My Mom: Beck! Look, she has red marks all around her mouth. Do you think she’s having an allergic reaction? Beck, Look!

Me: ((deep breath)) Seriously Mom?? She was touching her face while signing for more food. Please calm down, or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

I don’ t think my mother realizes that I have successfully taken care of Berlyn for the last 13 months, and she hasn’t died, or had hypothermia, or contracted the flesh-eating virus. Her head hasn’t mysteriously fallen off, and she looks like she is breathing most of the time. So, yeah, I’d say I’m doing alright.

2 Comments:

Amazing.

by Natalie Johnson on March 3, 2008

Sounds like my MIL…

by magpie on March 3, 2008

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Manatee in my Crescent roll

1 Comment

February 29, 2008

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I almost felt bad about eating my delicious, yet gentle sea creature. Almost.

1 Comment:

That’s hilarious

by Eric on February 29, 2008

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Give me Some Cookies!

4 Comments

February 28, 2008

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I’m waiting. I am waiting very patiently. For my shipment of girl scout cookies. Are they here yet? I’m waiting for the sweet-faced little girls and their over-bearing moms to be standing outside of Albertson’s with a wagon filled with Tagalongs. Except they’re not called Tagalongs anymore. They changed all the names. Yeah, Tagalongs are called Peanut Butter Patties, and Somoas are called Caramel deLites. Lame. Or maybe I bought knock-off cookies. Whatever, I just hope they are as delectable as they were last year.

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4 Comments:

I am jealous. I do not allow myself to buy girl scout cookies. Nate doesn’t eat them and I love them. If I open the box eat them in moderation, they go stale-so I end up eating an entire box in less than a week-all by myself. I may just invite myself over to share yours.

by Jamye on February 28, 2008

you can send me a box of thin mints, which in turn would be the equivalent of saying that you miss me and are thinking of me and want me to come home soon [assuming these are all true statements, of course]

by Greg on February 28, 2008

May I share some of your cookie yummyness? If you say no, I will be greatly offended.

by Dena on February 28, 2008

Okay, Beckey. We need to have a chat. I received the Girl Scout cookies I ordered on Monday, and I’ve been meaning to sit down and write a blog entry about how happy they make me. This is the second day in a row that I’ve visited your blog and thought, “Wow, I was just going to write about that!”

by Amanda on February 28, 2008

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Google

2 Comments

February 27, 2008

I have gathered a list of only the best phrases that people googled, my site appeared, and then those people clicked on my site. I hope I was helpful, especially to the people who googled Swedish food tube and hippo writes love to husband.

  • what is the most important part of a hippo
  • Swedish food tube
  • hippos mating season
  • hippo valentine photo
  • hippo writes love to husband
  • hippo+quilt
  • grocery store photos
  • dreams of leprechaun
  • dream being chased by hippo
  • comment boxes with hippos
  • baby diggle
  • hippo cupcakes
  • crazy candy lady
  • 2 types of hippos

2 Comments:

I’ve been planning on doing a similar entry for my blog! So funny.

by Amanda on February 27, 2008

I don’t get it…

by Greg on February 28, 2008

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Common Courtesy

0 Comments

February 26, 2008

Admit it, We’ve all done it before. Most of us go through our day doing it several times, and not even realizing it. It starts out soft and breathy at first, then it sort of falls out of our mouths, husky, and unconvincing. It’s this clumsy noise we make when we’re uncomfortable or seeking acceptance–it’s the courtesy laugh. Mine sounds low and throaty and most of the time I don’t even open my mouth, it just sneaks out of the corners of my lips, as if to say, “that wasn’t even funny enough for me to move any of my major facial muscles.”

Personally, if I’m not funny, don’t laugh. Just keep a straight face, and watch what I do. I might just get the point and stop trying to be funny. Or I might get really sad and lock myself up in my house for 6 weeks straight. Either way, I’ll get the point, and you won’t have to make that weird noise that sounds like you’re choking and have the hiccups.

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Once a year. Period

1 Comment

February 25, 2008

This was a SNL commercial for all the ladies. I laughed so hard, that I think I started my period.

1 Comment:

So funny!!!! I think Nate laughed harder than I did! Great find!

by Jamye on February 25, 2008

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Berlyn and Barney’s

0 Comments

February 25, 2008

At this Barney’s, there were no oafish purple dinosaurs singing lame songs.

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Pat wants this laptop bag:

3 Comments

February 25, 2008

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Should I buy it for him?

3 Comments:

yes!

by pat on February 25, 2008

ohhh!! i like that!

by Jamye on February 25, 2008

i dont think pat should be carrying a purse around. this is clearly not a laptop bag. it is a purse, nothing more.

by Chris Krusiewicz on March 12, 2008

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Sprinkles Cupcakes

1 Comment

February 25, 2008

I went to Sprinkles for the first time and had myself a red velvet cupcake–it was good, but all the hype surrounding the cupcake shop was better. There was a line that wrapped all the way around the front of the store, and I was all, “Really? All this for a cupcake?” And the lady behind me was like, “yep, really.”

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Jenielle came with me and had the Vanilla cupcake to the right.
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Berlyn apparently likes cupcakes. She kept digging her fingers into it and smearing it on her face, occasionally getting it in her mouth.

New Found

New Photos

1 Comment:

sprinkles is just alright for me. i agree: “all this for a cupcake…”
id like the small cake to be 2 dollars less and taste two times as good. then i would wait in line regularly. until then, sprinkles can have its cake and eat it too.

by Chris Krusiewicz on February 25, 2008

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Tiny T-Rex

6 Comments

February 22, 2008

I hate to travel. I like new places, but hate getting there. Flying is the worst. I have a mini panic attack when the plane takes off, and any time the plane makes a noise, or when we’re flying over anything scary, like lots and lots of snow. Snow is scary. I don’t like to talk on the flight either. This is because I don’t like the way my voice sounds at 5,000 feet in the air. I’d prefer not to communicate in any form, I’d rather color in my Disney Princess coloring book, watch the in-flight movie, or take a handful of dramamine and try to fall asleep in a tiny ball. But there are some things about air travel that I like. For one, SkyMall. I love flipping through the catalog and seeing if they sell something would benefit my life. They answer is usually no, and I get disappointed and go back to coloring. But every once in a while the folks over at SkyMall surprise me with their products, like the T-Rex Dinosaur Trophy Wall Sculpture. Because I want my friends and family to think, when they come over to my house, that I not only came across a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but I also killed it, shrunk its head, mounted it, and hung it on my wall for you to enjoy.

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6 Comments:

hilarious! your process of discovery, decimation, and display is the most cleverest thing i’ve heard in a long time. way to go

by pat on February 22, 2008

I totally saw this on our flight over to Orange County and I laughed so hard I almost peed myself. Who buys this stuff?

by Samantha on February 22, 2008

so weird that I had the same reaction to this item over last weekend flight to Omaha. I love a good freaky skymall item. I was also loving the rose umbrella and the slanket. Good times!

by amy on February 22, 2008

I am so glad you found this item. It is perfect for my master bedroom. It would go well with my sheets and my mini swamp animal figurines.

by Dena on February 22, 2008

Ohh, I must have. I’m thinking it would also look nice with a Jack ‘n the Box bag on its head…

by Amanda on February 22, 2008

Nate and I totally saw this on our way to Phoenix this weekend! I told him that one day when we have a big house and a game room I would buy it for him to mount above his poker table. I lied.

by Jamye on February 22, 2008

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