HIPPO BRIGADE

A Quote Worth Repeating

“Sometimes life just makes a whole lot more sense when you’re looking at a baby.”
–Dr. Miranda Bailey Gray’s Anatomy

Inside There is Hope for a Better Tomorrow

Berlyn is sick so we went to the Pediatrician this morning. Although we were saddled down with a sundry of drugs and apparatuses, they put it all in this this terrific bag which apparently they over-estimated on their last print run from 1985.

My Knees Look Like Potatoes and Other Misfortunate Findings

I’m feeling pretty uninspired to write on my blog today. Maybe it’s because my baby is sick, and being away from her every night this week is tearing me up. Or perhaps it’s because I feel ugly today. Do you ever have those days where you wake up and you look in the mirror, and you’re all, “ew.”? Or maybe it has to do with the subtle fact that my knee caps look like a pair of russet potatoes halved and unpeeled.

All this is frightfully upsetting, so you can understand my reason for the lack of inspiration.

Words are Fun!

Words that are fun to say:

shoot/chute
chicken
trilobite
pointy
litigate
muffin
poop
cheeto
tart
periwinkle
rutabaga

Words that are not fun to say:

hooves
pamphlet
moist
baggy
smear
mucus
fig
crotch
volvo
wool

Beckey’s First Day of School

So last night I went to school in the first time in a year and a half, and I felt like a sweet, precious, baby bird. Yes, we photographed this momentous occasion. I needed you to see how sweet and bird-like I looked. I had a huge knot in my stomach because unlike normal first days’ of school, there was no organization. I was the only one transferring in, and I was just suppose to pick up where I left off. That meant just sit in class and take notes. Don’t worry about the sideways stares and everybody wondering who the hell I was. I unapologetically and energetically introduced myself, but got listless and lethargic greetings in response. Welcome to Beauty School. I had forgotten that everybody sat around and reapplied black eyeliner, texted their ex-boyfriends, and ate Mike n Ikes. This is going to be SO MUCH FUN!

(Side note) The girl sitting next to me actually put face powder on her hands. This is strange right? But it also gets you wondering…do you need some powder on your hands?

Monitor Mayhem

My alarm clock is my baby monitor. In the morning, at about 7:15 Berlyn wakes me up with her soft coos, a glow worm lullaby, and lately, the gentle hacking of her coughing up phlegm. One morning I forgot to turn off the receiver-end of the monitor, which is in my room, but I did turn off the end in her room. A few seconds into her diaper change, I realized that Berlyn and I were not alone. I heard what sounded like Judge Judy on the TV, a screaming child, and a woman talking on the phone. Intrigued, I finished slathering Berlyn’s buns with Butt Paste, and headed into my room to hear more from my monitor. Sadly, it was wretchedly boring. She was repeating words of objects for her toddler, “Toothbrush, Judge Judy, Costco Membership Card”. I switched off the monitor, and then an awful thought crossed my mind. If I can hear people, then people can hear me.

There are a multitude of things that I would prefer people do not hear, such as my Polish rendition of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider”, my grunts and wheezing from doing Billy Blanks Tai Boa, or the reaction I have to my daughter’s stinky diaper.

Moral of the story: turn off your monitors when not in use. You might hear something you don’t want to hear, even worse, you might hear me.

Baby See, Baby Chew

Berlyn puts everything in her mouth; yesterday, I saw her with the tip of Zoey’s ear in her mouth. It’s her way of exploring new objects, and I love how inquisitive she is. But it got me thinking, what if that was a trait that humans never outgrew? Imagine a first date with the guy chewing on a corner of the menu to get a better idea of the restaurant. Shoe shopping would be interesting. You bring along your friend Nancy, and both of you gnawing on the same pair of Jimmy Choo flats. Ooh, the monster truck rally! Imagine everyone with their acid wash jeans and fanny packs chewing on their chairs and programs.

I’m glad that we outgrew this, I don’t know what I would if a guy came up to me and started to suck on my hair.